Nothingness

In nothingness perhaps is there nothing. Nothingness might be a place that exists somewhere then true. There might be a place where nothing happens, where nothing is seen, or heard, or understood in any way. Nothingness might be out there somewhere beyond the universe itself. Nothingness might also best express the emptiness that comes from an ending of thought, emotion, memory and consciousness.

 Death then, because of this ending, might mean unfortunately our eradication into nihilistic completion. The fact that infinity may remain after our death, extending out beyond our graves where our rotting corpse is, by extending off into the unending distances on all sides might not matter for us human beings. That we live or had once lived might be forgotten by the swift severe hand of destiny. Nothingness then might be for us an actual place even if the universe offers mindboggling secrets that keep unfolding forever. 

 Curiously nothingness is something we’re always up against aiming our thought and invented doctrines at trying to overcome. This great dark curtain must be overcome, for some of us at least, despite the staggering odds against it’s reminding messages. If the cold blank icy stare of death is observed it will rudely interrupt the most lofty of rumors of our resurrection.

Curiously even this odd anomaly of staring finality in the face seems strangely stage crafted for a great unfolding drama of some perplexing kind.

 

This however begs for another observation that should be considered. Nothingness is not really the order of existence. Curiously because of something called “existence itself” something actually happens as opposed to the absence of light, gravity, elements, thought etc.

 In this absence of what alternatively we would of thought of as nothingness, us people, and many other almost endless and uncountable varieties of phenomena, emerge and curiously flail about for a time amid the unknown itself.

We human actors of the stage of the world accumulate our opinions by making many observations while we ask the big questions of how the order of nature works. Is this searching merely an act of random desperation or a great calling we as yet don't fully appreciate or understand.

I'm now a heritic. Prepare the torture wheel!

If life ends up being finally clarified for us by ultimately describing and telling humanity why life is this way it would be a big moment. We now know the mixed messages we have been facing in life with all the: suffering, conflict, existence of evil, ideological uncertainty, chaos etc., that makes life here, for so many people, unbearable and horrible. What if then finally answers did come however. if we were to finally be filled in then on this mystery telling us the why answer. If this clarity came and were then to give humanity finally the real answers to life’s big questions what might this revelation to us say?

 

What If that explanation were to say to people, by a greater wisdom then any of us now have, then all our preachers have now also, that we people actually are the victims here in this place, in this world, whatever or wherever it is.

 

I now, based on my limited but yet still growing knowledge and study of history, wouldn't be personally surprised if that might be the answer we finally got. That answer being that we are the victims in life.

 

I’m definitely no scholar, true, although I’m growing somewhat wiser by personal studying. I’m now looking at experience by learning from the study of historians and philosophers, for instance, who are helping a little in somewhat demystifying that unknown. Everyone does this to understand the unknown because in life truth isn’t just there to discern without error. I didn’t have a clue, before I began to study this, about most of the past 2,000 years of Christian history. Yet even without a clue about that history I nonetheless would fearlessly proclaim myself an authority on God, His word, and His plan for humanity. Why did I have to be this authority? I think I did  because that’s what dogma instills in us the idea we’re meant to assert ourselves as experts and authorities.

 

I'm now not as big anymore on ideas that teach human beings unbending dogma that we only have a very limited chance of finding hope in this life. I don’t necessarily buy into the idea that we’re to blame for all this confusion in life and that we will only live on in a good way by us embracing a narrow doctrine in it’s one and only escape clause.

 

I’ll tell you why I can’t specifically cling to that escape clause. If I prescribed to a salvation “that only saves those who believe in it now” then three of my Grandparents would have absolutely no chance of surviving to live in the presence of a good God outside of this world. Literally they’d all be destined to not only separation from God but have to go to some hideous destination, an invention of terror on a scale unimaginable that was created by writers of an even crueler and more ignorant time, to a place they named Hell.

 

 My own mother is also on that cruel list destined for that mythological realm as are most Chinese and people of allot of eastern countries of the world etc. Also living in “Hell” would be most human beings who have ever lived in the world.

 

I think It's madness for humanity to live amid this chaos in life and to also suspect each and every other person as we think by weighing and judging the destinies of others. Christian universalism is the belief of universal reconciliation, also known as universal salvation, and it is the doctrine that every human soul will ultimately be reconciled to God because of divine love and mercy. That conception of God seems far more just and believable to me.

 

 This journey we’re on instills in us ideas that naturally suspect and distrust others. We form into our clichés, into circles of ideologues at odds with ulterior groups of people, and we do it all as we think and socialize. We conform to our ideas and build these politicalized personal identities. I think mankind needs and deserves to be given ultimate understanding in all this unfairness.

 

If one day it were revealed, for whatever reason, that life’s terms and the acting forces on us were this way unfairly (yes unfairly!) then I wouldn't be surprised to find that out! If through that disclosure life has then afterwards prepared something good for us “instead” of more punishment on human beings, (the victims) I don’t consider that scenario wishful, naïve, evil or a sinful way of thinking or hoping or even trusting. If it’s disobedient, defiant, chaotic, rebellious thinking to think like that then we truly are lost in a world of pure madness.

 

 I don’t doubt the possibility that I’d be meeting the same Jesus as revealed by the Gospels by now pursuing a broader more inclusive love reaching all human beings. We are far more inclusively loved then we now fathom I think. I feel this way because this is where my faith and the example of Jesus Christ points me. I plan to write more  as a heretic in the future about this also. The rack, the torture wheel and the guillotine awaits my rebellion. 

Is fairness in life a possibility? (written while drinking whisky)

If fairness was no more then merely a vague theory, a wishful thought, or a positive claim in our world then what would that mean then for our hope as human beings? If fairness could not be trusted then then what would that mean?

 

 Oh who are we kidding, or who am I kidding, what makes anyone think fairness can be trusted anyway? We must be all doomed then right? whatever that means!

 

Will this magical “fairness,” if it were to exist at all, solve all the unfairness we now currently see in our lives? Will the agony of ghastly wounds, for example, or other multiple horrific life experiences be then be ultimately corrected because of it? Will this mythical fairness then restore the broken person to full health in the end? That seems unlikely though doesn't it given life’s contrasting reality?

 

Fairness seems to be foreign to our world in at least the use of reason wondering about it doesn’t it? True the world is beautiful and interesting but experience itself is tainted by the tragic and ugly.

 

Fairness is then what a giggly and overly positive pipe dream? Isn't that all it is don’t you think? Isn’t that the fairest answer to conclude from a hope in fairness prevailing in the end?

 

Fairness claims exist to us yes. Our moral judgment and it’s measurement evaluates the struggle of our experience and try’s to measure life to work out for the good. We work to make life even handed, just, and to work out beneficially by philosophical explanations so that the course of life gets fairly fulfilled.

 

The problem is the world and it's forces interfere with that optimistic perspective.  As we go about examining life honestly we struggle because of opposite contradictions. Intruding into that vague flimsy constructed hope life’s terms interfere by honestly fact checking our optimism. Fairness thereby gets partially bulldozed over.

 

 Evil then in it's suffocation in it’s resulting suffering and unfairness goes about acting indifferently to all our optimism. Unfairness  confuses that optimism of ours by squashing our hope to make sense of life which is to no end full of far too much chaos and confusion to reconcile easily with hope.

 

 Fairness haunts us then as we hunger after it like a hungry leech aspires to suck unto a bathers ankle. We want justice and fairness to prevail and for good to be the ultimate actor behind our fumbling and bumbling grasp of what really is happening in our struggling reality in this world. The question is then can we have confidence fairness resides over all of us? Well the jury is still out on that. As the philosophers and theologians amass their repetitious arguments and amass volumes of hypothesis their answers themselves prevent a certain conundrum to us.

 

The problem ultimately in life is is that life is littered with the beautiful and the horrific. Nothing in our life experience absolutely decides for us anything. We the vulnerable and impressionable open-mindedness people have no absolute answers. Nothing  absolutely describes or defines truth to us absolutely.

 

 If truth was easy business and available to everyone then more people would rest assured in it's agreed upon writings. They would be thereby confident that life has our destiny fairly secured. We would further conclude that human decision making can see our way clearly through it all. Our path would be universally obvious to us.

All who didn't realize that way as the truth "falsely," we’d say, missed discovering it because of their own failure.

 

 The truth however, in reality, is so mired in distraction and confusion that finding it is like searching through litter on the highway for a treasure that none of us knows anyway to certainly find.

 

Let us not despair though for beyond our hope for an antidotes for fairness the world itself still remains awesome. Beyond that confusion of life’s frightening reality is an awesome landfill of inestimable genius. Love is here too also in this world as historical figures, like Jesus, exemplify insight and inspiration to us. All is not lost then, at least not yet.

The understanding of the ages

In the beginning perhaps there wasn't anything, no space, stars, planets, nothing was there. Assuming these things were invented then the inventor must have had a wildly creative imagination. Why do I think so do you ask? Because the inventor decided to create planetary systems, orbiting projectiles elliptically orbiting a sun in an undisturbed orbit lasting billions of years all while moving uninterrupted.

 

The inventor structured an earth at a life sustaining distance from a sun and then unleashed hundreds of thousands of invented phenomena in the plants, animals, mammals that are all distinct and unique creatively and that function with peculiar habits and life sustaining patterns of existence.

 

The inventive mind created one species where every face differed substantially from every other face and they were the human beings. We human beings became aware of ourselves as we are ambitious to understand our world and organize ourselves. The moral struggle is then on in which the inventor perhaps set before people the many challenges that are in place that interfere with perfect moral harmony.

 

Why would the inventor create the conditions of earth to offer such contrast between beauty, happiness, peace with the haunting intrusions of war, hatred, plague and disease.

 

The consequences of thought left to develop and grow is no doubt going to lead to where the people using the thought wish to organize it and persuade by it’s use. The creator must have predicted this would happen and lead to the ideological contention we now know. Was it intentionally prepared like this then? When power is sought the political philosophies that are developed by us are harnessed and used all as ambitious groups compete for credibility and advantage. Was it meant to be like this? Could it be any other way with free roaming ideas?

 

If the world was created purposefully like this what is the end goal.  The genius behind it’s creation might be a transcending power who simply wills these terms into being and then watches them unfold calmly from afar. He never perhaps intercedes or only occasionally and very quietly as certain situations warrant it.

 

Beyond the created earth what else is possible by this eternal Being? Does creativity have limits, boundaries, ending points. Is this a taste, only a teasing, a sign of approach of something greater and grander and more pleasing and do we ever get to see it?

 

The creation of the Universe as a place pleasing to an Omnipotent transcending Being is perhaps pleasing in the infinitesimal subatomic realm as it also is on the grandest of all scales as well. What we know is that nature in the created order is profoundly interesting and increasingly complex in its variety as it’s discovered.

 

We are the discoverers trying to ascertain what these functions all are. The Omnipotent Being probably hardly rests on some moon in deep space. Maybe He abides everywhere and no where instantaneously. Maybe He exists in places beyond our star lit views on summer nights, out in the haunting reaches of infinite scope, lumbering there amid ancient terrain while satisfied in the deepness of His infinite imagination.

 

The power that we think of we hope has the moral integrity and the character of a great compassionate Being who we hope has an ability that can eventually right every wrong, heal every wound, bring peace out of all the aggression and conflict.

 

The weariness of us mankind is haunted by the cold earth and the top soil of the grave that keeps dwindling ever nearer. Death is approaching all as the world orbits on perhaps watched and observed as we move with it.

In confusion and uncertainty I stand

He sat with his head pulled back. The look he held was a blank looking stare. The look seemed to know something the people around him thought from watching him. The features on his face were interesting to the questioning and curios minds beside him. He seemed in this state to be in bewilderment or subjectively to be at a threshold point or an important juncture in life alive in his dimension of time.

 

The look suggested reassignment the people considered who were talking beside him. Perhaps his current philosophy, or any philosophy he'd perhaps studied for personal development, had now utterly failed to satisfy him to explain the truth of life.

 

The observers spoke quietly among themselves about him. It was like, they reasoned, the man was set adrift because of a great realization and now was like an old unwanted ship unsure where to go left to float far away.

 

The people were right about this. The man who now sat there was no longer able to trust in mans knowledge, he’d come to realize this painfully. The man was soberly aware, because of this new realization, that all such belief, in the truth claims of mortal men on the grandest of scale, were finally now to be seen by him for their many inconsistencies. These thought systems were to him imperfectly designed and were only able to give imperfect or even totally fallible answers.

 

The people watching him now could sense the momentous state he now floundered in.

He decided to open up to the people and then went about in telling them his journey and resulting dilemmas. The people of course, to no surprise of his, dismissed his skepticism easily. Like all people they were used to doing this, dismissing other ideas by nature, when dealing in not held ideology.

 

The people in dismissing him, like dismissing other foreign thought of any kind, were to him just acting in their ignorance. They were incapable of registering the complete thoughts behind another persons system of opinions.

 

If they knew his opinions better, he thought, it would make a difference to these people perhaps.

If their minds were able and willing to concentrate simultaneously across experiences to see his views completely they might better understand. Yet because people are limited in conscious deliberation to momentary evaluations of a certain perspective of a personal priority then because of this the people don’t usually have the ability to look empathetically into other peoples minds and see into their constructed ideological worlds. He knew because of this inability to understand others It was very difficult and uncommon for many people to understand different people of differing ideology.

 

The man felt alone now because of all this. He felt naïve to have been down the road he’d just had to walk down over the past years of his life but he still trusted God. The road got him to where he now was. The insight he had come to was to him commonsensical. He thought his new realization was true  because he knew how the human mind gathered information and made decisions and then adopted beliefs. He knew in this decision making process how flawed that human judgment making was.

 

He believed there was perhaps  out there somewhere, an alternative to the absolute explanations of truth held by thought systems of the world. That truth could then, if it was found, describe his world. Yet for now no such authority currently explained the truth. He held the current truth claims of mortal men in universal suspicion of their accuracy.

 

He didn't know enough of life experience, nor did they know enough he felt, to rest in their desperate assurances. Pursuing truth meant the business of finding yourself caught up in a kind of entanglement. That entanglement involved searching for the truth through ideas. In the deceptive entanglements of differing ideas human beings live in the world by adopting beliefs. The vulnerability of a person commonly finds him or herself falsely in the clutches of those variations of differing ideas. Other human beings then more commonly then not lose sight of that other persons hope as a human person because of their held doctrine in that variation of belief. Does this seem wise or

just?

 

The man had looked at the  faces around him in life. It was at the moment upon seeing their innocent faces when he finally registered humanities vulnerability to differing persuasions. He pitied his own humanity then with a mixture of defiance, that we blindly trust by being so easily persuaded, and empathy, for the dignity of the human person. Hopelessly confused the man finally then lost his mind entirely.

 

He was reduced finally to a state of disorientated and nonsensical rambling. He then went wondering away from the village of the people and upon finding a hill he stood there on its brim urinating. He turned and looked back at the world.  He scoffed at the many overly certain minds in it. He mimicked the minds that were convinced that the utterly infinite and uninvestigated expanses that lay beyond them held definitively no intelligent creative life force. He scoffed at man eating whales, parting red seas, and myth systems full of flaws and irregularities like talking donkeys. 

 

What did they want of him anyway, he now asked, a puppet? Did they want of him a believer in fantastical stories of magical earlier times? Did they want to console him with their crafted reassurances in sermon forms? or to terrorize him with stories of judgment and eternal torment? Or steal away his awe at this life existing as opposed to nihilism and nothingness as the real state of any potential order.

 

Lets be real clear about something people. We weren’t given hospitality in a fantastical land of clearly discoverable answers like colorful cheerful roses waiting in a fancy garden for us. Human beings have been lumbering across time taking on evolving explanations all the way along and we as yet don’t know where we are and the truth in totality isn’t yet discernable to any of us. Yet I still have a friend in God. I trust that friendship with God like nothing else and no one can take it from me whether my doctrine is in compliance of their truth explaining or not.

"The knock"

I was thinking to myself and then there came a knock and I wondered if it was made on a door. I wondered thinking upon the sound that I heard there and picturing a door of substantial importance that was being knocked on. What if a very important door exists I then wondered as the tap sounded again. Doors do not offer just passage into the ordinary places alone though, do they, but perhaps they offer a way to somewhere else I considered now. I wondered If such a way to somewhere other then here could be possible. 

if that door could be opened and I could find safe passage inside was going through it's passage going to reveal more then I thought was really possible. The thought made me pause and think. I then heard the knock again realizing it was someone coming back here into this very old world. I then wondered to myself why on Earth would they come back here. 

There were many things I wondered about on that day, but this, the knocking, the other place where it came from, stood out in my mind. 

Hope, I then thought later on, was akin to trust and a confident expectation. Contrasting to that kind of hope at the entrance to Dante's fictional Hell were his writings where the words read, "Lay down all hope, you that go in by me".

 

I picked up the Bible impulsively next and it said “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  Elsewhere in this book I read “For in this hope we were saved; but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he can already see?” Again elsewhere“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

 

Finally I read the following passages and really began to think about them.

 

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

 

One contemporary philosopher I then read next understands hope to be more than goal setting, rather as a metanarrative, a story that serves as a promise or reason for expecting a better future.

 

I then read on that he was a postmodernist and believed past meta–narratives, including the Christian story, utilitarianism, and Marxism have proved false hopes and that theory itself cannot offer social hope. He thought that liberal man must learn to live without a consensual theory of social hope.

 

Turning once again to another philosopher he noted that when hope comes into its own is when crisis looms, opening us up to new creative possibilities. With great need comes an unusually wide range of ideas, as well as such positive emotions as happiness and joy, courage, and empowerment.

 

I then began to wonder if we should let anyone tell us "what the truth is?" Why should we trust in these interpreters interpretive capabilities to know the final truth? Why do we, us vulnerable and impressionable minds, seek out the council of others often more learned? We often, it seems, look to them not just for information to shape are awareness of the world but to set answers of our existence in stone for us. In that extra learning of theirs perhaps there just ends up being another way to be more persuasive in delivering theories of really what is the utterly unknown and perhaps ultimately the unknowable.

 

When we hear their speech do we find rest and reassurance in trusting in their ideas? The answers we seek ,after all, might very well be the kind of answers that generally align to what we already knew and what we previously had supported. They are ideas therefore that were part of what we previously had wanted to be true. We therefore

 wanted to rest in that known interpretation of life’s meaning and to have these familiar ideas then drown out all other objections is it fair to say?

 

Is in the pursuit of the truth what is inspired in us a desire to form a position or belief on the truth? That looking for belief ends up being our theory of life’s meaning. Then we hold to our belief while sorting through the other flocks of human beings in the world by making categorical distinctions?

 

But then we in this self guided way separate those like us from those not like us. When we size up the outsiders, do we judge them, and then perhaps do we have the potential to lose sight of them?

 

If we judge then is it not true then that we cannot , in many of us, see the other people’s hopes, dreams, or individual struggles humanely. We may not be able to even empathize or condone or except their very different understandings of "the truth."

 

But what is truth? The rumor that truth comes honestly and fairly to us with universal equality with all people capable of discovering it is just a gross distorted rumor isn’t it? Is the possibility in discovering the truth merely hear say that is passing amid the vulnerable masses. These desperados, us poor people, are the sad interpreters of life who are almost always ill-equipped to know our surroundings accurately. Are simplistic people prepared to hold a license powerful enough to judge their fellow man and know certainly all of humanities only hope in this world?

 

Isn’t truth as hidden and hard to identify as is meaning and what lies beyond us? Aren’t we left to merely take guesses and often wild guesses they end up often being? The unknown doesn’t it haunt us in this way?

 

If we all conformed to a literalist reading of the Holy Bible and there were no scientists or people asking other questions I’d be worried about our self-awareness. Alternatively if there were no group of people studiously examining Jesus sermons and searching for a transcending reality through them I’d be equally distressed since all of this is life business is up in the air. The unknown hides itself from us. 

"The great struggle for commonsense!"

I just watched a two hour segment from a long documentary on the Vietnam war on PBS. Allot of misery came out of that war while both sides, I took from watching, had legitimate reasons to think it was a fight worth fighting. The Vietnamese had suffered under colonialism for a very long time and then into their country the Americans came replacing the French occupiers. The Americans themselves were struggling themselves to defeat communism.

 Two people then collided in what became a horrific conflict that once again lulled another generation of man into one more horrible awful war. This kind of blind aggression has repeatedly caught and controlled humanity in its effects across time.  

No one anywhere in the world who believes in a cause hasn't an argument for what their doing. Wherever anyone has an idea, some ideas of course might be fairer ideas then others, where the human person naively is there interpreting those ideas he/she is doing that interpreting imperfectly, and there lies the problem. 

The problem is that finding the truth from ideas, that are susceptible to many forms of different kinds of persuasive arguments, is that any view of the truth, in all the ideas of the world, can persuade anyone in any way.

 Therefore because human beings, lets call us innocent minds,  are caught in this caldron or meat grinder of ideological persuasion it therefore then means that we’re continuously and easily mistaken in what they think and what we believe.  

People because this is true don't have the inherent theory of mind to have the capacity therefore to figure out why someone else’s version of "the truth" is going to unstoppably be often very different from what they experience and end up believing for themself.

Many people alive aren’t able to empathize with this difference in belief. They simply condemn entire swaths of Earth. Ulterior beliefs are held in great suspicion and because of this people often lose sight of one another’s common humanity. 

One mans ideas might actually be the truth over another mans ideas but that’s irrelevant to the hope for mankind of knowing those other ideas. To hold the easily mistaken people, lets call them innocent minds, responsible for this failure of interpreting the truth is beyond bazar. 

In not finding often what in ideas is limited to ones exposure or experience means the ideas naturally believed by some will of course not be believed by others.

 It’s bazar and misguided therefore to hate anyone effected by an idea. If we decline to see the vulnerability we face in this confused state of the human condition we then proceed to judge mankind unfairly.

 Humanity should be looked at then with total equality where every human being should be seen with equal dignity everywhere. As we encounter the insidious traps that we keep falling into and that keep causing us to condone cutting each others throats blindly maybe we can try empathizing instead with each other.

Falso logic "The downfall of humanity!"

(A drunken rant in a chat room no one probably listened to.) 

If I was sober right now, which I’m not, I'd tell you all here a thing or two! The first lengthy position I'd take would tell you all that your simplistic simpletons. Fear not I'm not distancing myself from that blanketed title FOR I TOO am a simplistic simpleton! Next I'd say to you as simpletons, which you and I are, we need to be aware of our surroundings. 

 We need to be aware of the world and it's ideas, it's logic, or illogic, and those ideologies because they will mess our heads up. These ideas out there will justify and cement our position, wherever we stand, because wherever ideas are there has already been an articulate argument made which we the gullible, past and present, receivers will adapt like it were grounded in cement.

The ideas themselves I pre-warn you will divide humanity up. You will find self justification for yourself and an outward alienation, suspicion, hostility for other groups. THIS IS WRONG LOGIC!

Human beings are blank slates adopting various understandings that almost always prove to be false understandings. This is my opinion of knowledge. As blank canvasses, regardless of the ideas that sway us, if ideas alienate you from your fellow human being DO NOT BELIEVE IN THEM! Anything that leaves no room for common humanity is an earlier adaptation of a false idea.

 Love then instead the totality of the human condition. Show therefore mercy to everyone and believe God is bigger then are categories discern! Believe God is big enough to be fairer then us, kinder then us, more loving then us, wiser then us! We’re only fools if we put complete trust in human logic as far as I can now tell!

White nationalism

I was speaking to a white nationalist in a chartroom. I asked him “Do you think you understand this world well enough and with enough insight to have the views you do?” I wanted to know if he could see life with enough insight in order to accurately  access his surroundings well enough to have the world view he did. “Your only going to be here a little while in the world” I told him. “You'll likely spend your years doing what man delights in repeatedly doing in those years, acting out the same tired broken record ranting. There you’ll sit, on your high horses, raging all overly certain while dividing up the world unequally.“ 

I pictured him sitting around growing old discerning that his own sect and tribe deserve the fullest, fairest, and only measure of reward or justification in life while hatefully despising outside others. His politics would continue to rage self-righteously on through those years of his life dividing place from place, party from party, race from race etc.. 

I felt he was too comfortable raging all exaltedly  feeling too good about himself while making others inferior. That’s his happy place, I’ve seen it many times, I thought. He is likely on a porch step with some other raging good old boys feeling elevated and righteous right now. 

Do I sound like a broken record when I say: No group, regardless of the religion, or the doctrine they embrace, or their ethnicity, is comprised of anyone  less valuable or less important then anyone else.

 Yet we don’t exactly teach that “the entire world is equal”though! That's the big error of the world since the earliest origins of writing and myth. I think It perhaps started way back maybe with the ancient scribes of The Old Testament, probably even earlier, when they started writing fiction about what tribe they thought God favored and which group or tribe He didn't favor.

That’s the illusion of the world. The illusion is that some multitudes are good while other multitudes are evil. Some people have divine favor while others don’t have it. Look at American exceptionalism that sees other human beings as not on the side of the divine as they condition their citizens to feel inwardly favored by God. It’s too easy for any groups thinking person within it to blanket entire swaths of outsider groups into categories outside of this favor.

 I however reject any loss of understanding for any such blanketed group or individual within that frame of reasoning. Looking outwardly to the outside  group the person doing the judging is falling into an old rusty diabolical trap the human family has always been trapped up to its neck in like quicksand.

Us humans, like puppets, instead of seeing good in other people fall under ideological spells. Creatures of thought, learning, and cliquish group identity conformity, we the persuaded “puppets” or “genie pigs” are roused to duty. That duty is that we become compelled to act out states of fury, racial or religious suspicion, blind nationalism and all the rest of the contempt for others we justify. 

The minds of us people are therefore weak. We’re naïve when compelled to embrace ideas which come in attractive but blinding and destructive forms. We should instead love all people everywhere unconditionally. If we are forced into war with anyone we should always value the dignity of our enemy despite battle.

 That human person, despite their error, should be permitted to retain every ounce of their dignity that can be salvaged. Anyone wise enough to discern the limitations on human perfection of mind and who sees the universal lacking of clarity of thought in all our experiences then clearly should agree that people fall under the spell of bad ideas more commonly then uncommonly. That doesn’t mean we should abandon seeing them as having inalienable rights and dignity though.

 Despite the commotions controlling minds of people amid the world, the human being is simply the victim being tossed about by invisible strings by the false gods of the world.

The call of the humane and the just should therefore be to a universal understanding and a love that oversteps all boundaries and reaches “all souls everywhere” unconditionally. For whatever reason human beings are the rats in a maze endlessly compelled into conflict blindly. Nonetheless we should  hold up our chins and dare to love ourselves in spite of what might, perhaps, really overarch our lives.

Written while slightly intoxicated on my forty-forth birthday

I was saying something today to an online friend who also turned forty-four this year. She said forty-four wasn’t old and I thought  In response that I didn’t know if forty-four was old or not. Yet already at this age I've known a few friends who haven't made it this far. I've also heard of many others who hadn't made it until this age either. So I'm just grateful to have had, not a perfect life, but a fair life to last this long. I’ve known struggles in mental illness, loneliness, fear but I have allot to be grateful for as well.  

I've had opportunities to experience things not every person has in this world. I think God will make that loss up to those people who have alternatively had very difficult lives. It’s just what I think will happen.  

I am grateful for the life I’ve had though. I may live into old age, who knows, but regardless if I do, or I don’t, I've known God here in life as a friend. I’ve been alive here existing as a person in His world with His friendship. I therefore have because of what I’ve experienced through God every reason to believe in a future with Him and to anticipate that future as being full of possibility. I see that prospect as a fairness that will be revealed where what awaits is a better expression of love that is much fairer and more genius then anything encountered here.

 I've really glimpsed a love this world doesn’t even partially have, I have, in talking to God. I long to be in that place where that love is at it's fullest but I know life here for now is a gift and it's to be lived and appreciated. I’d love to be where happiness is full, where you know your loved completely, where there is no anxiety, where there is perfect peace and creativity is unstoppable and unending and there is no more pain emotional or physical. To be where every experience is liberated from every worry is where one day I feel I actually will be. 

As I speculate and lack the adequate insight into just how powerful the reach of the good I speak of is I consider this: We now only glimpse through the millions of species of living creatures the extent of the power that put the world in it's life giving orbiting home here. That force gave opportunity to all life, but especially to our human life, in the unique capacity we have to name these strange but beautiful phenomena and ask questions about them and about us and our meaning and purpose and future.

The ability that allows us to consciously ask the questions about our surroundings is unique to human beings. To wonder as to the force behind all these peculiar anomalies we alone have the unique insight into wondering upon as we’re balanced on an orbiting sphere. This is an underestimated gift.

 It's a peculiar platform we’re on here. This is a really strange anomaly that we’re born to existence as opposed to being a nihilistic example of pure nothingness. Here we are on a peculiar projectile in the Heavens. We are somewhere we human inhabitants here can only wonder about and only claim to understand if we falsely and misleadingly say we know for certainty sake the reason for it in answering what it’s all about. To explain it all away proves to be only inadequate guessing. This life is then packed full of so much grandeur. This kind of possibility like many of us I continue to wonder about.

Billions reach for hope out of this speculation here. Out of historical traditions, our of parables by wise men, and the claims of truth that are said to have come from God intervening in the past in the world, we contemplate this life. We fearfully don’t fully understand the truth. 

This is a marvelous opportunity  however to marvel at the genius puzzle of the uncertain. We are all adventurers, all of us here, for to face the utter unknown like we are and to wonder about it's prospect really is the biggest adventure. We wonder, some of us, about a Being of significant size, of a transcending and creative ability and understanding as to design this all.

This theater of life, I feel, is a gift as much as its a battle of uncertain storms with worry, fear and grief. Yet hope in life having a meaning is ours to look for or perhaps even to find. That hope is there inviting us to venture out on a limb, looking as we live, before the unknown.