Taking sips from a tall glass of Crown Royal while philosophizing about the mystery of existence

 

Through the course of human history what has mankind been doing in the world? have we been looking for the truth? searching for what goodness is about? have we been trying to recognize hope while facing natures formidable and indifferent end? 

How were life's questions of mortality and immortality treated by ancient philosophers like Plato and Aristotle? or religious figures like Jesus and Buddha?

Many people who proceeded us through the generations have no doubt tried to escape this life's suffering, to overcome the burier of death, by organizing the world into what's good, and saying from a momentary perspective what truth is, or isn't. But is it not true that proceeding them, and coming after them, we have all sought to control thought and direct the course of the world's ideas? to set thought on a narrow restrictive course, by indoctrinating and guiding the path of billions of people even very commonly by authoritarian control?

The thoughts of man set on a course to say what's good, what fairness is really all about, how to live, that tells mankind how to respond to what has been written that supposedly instructs us in what is good and bad.

Have we fathomed wisely enough yet, however, from where we sit in time, the mystery we're part of so that the light illuminating the hidden truth behind reality shines brightly enough? do all the claims we have now emerge from a source that should never be doubted, challenged, changed, or refuted, after being produced by our ancestors wearing their ancient drabs? people who lived at a time when ideas were being turned into stone.

But I dare to question all thought, like any free thinker does, and so I now ask fearlessly the question has goodness really been entirely found? has total fairness already come to light? do we know that life has hope, or no hope, or is there more then hope, can this life offer a mindboggling future that is exceedingly good far beyond our capacity to dare imagine? I believe that future is real.

Yet did the ancient Buddha teach the right way to stop people from reincarnating in pain? or did the early ecumenical church councils, hundreds of years after Christ's crucifixion, really solidify in writing all of who Jesus is in errorless certainty? 

By producing a claim of an only path to hope for mankind did this worlds prior contributors to thought know what fairness is meant to look like in its entirety with God? did they recognize in their ancient culture all that goodness is about? to know the path we're walking on with accuracy?  so that they knew God well enough to understood the mystery of his love. 

Perhaps our reasoning, vision for fairness, and way of treating people is yet to understand the importance and dignity of who people really are, so that we treat them all with fairness and love, other wondering minds and hearts walking clumsily along the road of life to the grave, a grave holding multitudes in number.

For now we wonder the hills watching the sun rise and set; we think, and moralize about what's fair, while hopefully daring to question what this life is about, asking ourselves is the mystery we're part of here large and fair, even more fair then we dare hope possible. Could the hope we pursue in this life point to a fair God real and good beyond all estimations, even beyond the wisdom and understanding of the thinkers who came before us.

My thoughts wondering

 Stares in a crooked line, looking around obstacles, through clouds, around planets, through dark unlit areas, following a course many times larger and farther then has ever been seen, and then his imagination gets treated to a reward; his thoughts become freer, the hidden truth, that lies beyond understanding speaks, which tells a story of hope, it's purpose, not merely its possibilities, hope of better days, of fairness.

An ai search result, after doing a search for my name, and my thoughts in response

I sent ai a question tonight (sorry I forgot to copy the question down) and the results I received are found below. I sometimes use ai to share opinions about my writing found by doing a search. I think it should be fairly obvious to people where the places in my blog are that I quote ai. Included in these ai results I responded to several points I either didn't agree with or found incomplete and put these thoughts in brackets.

Ai search result

You're talking about Donald Carter, the author of books like "A Paranoid Schizophrenic's message of Hope for the World" and "The Schizophrenic's Journey of Hope"

Based on his published descriptions and blog writing, his ideas about God and humanity are quite different from many traditional religious preachers. His message is more universalist and inclusive, even though he claims his ideas come from conversations with God.

Below is a clearer breakdown of what his writings appear to say about the groups you mentioned.

1. What his beliefs say about atheists and agnostics 

    according to his own writing:

 * God loves people who do not believe in him. 

 * Atheists are not portrayed as enemies or immoral.

 * They are described as people God still cares about and wants friendship with.

   He explicitly writes that God loves people "who hold out no hope he exists".

  So unlike many exclusivist religions, his message does not condemn atheists. Instead, it suggests:

. *disbelief does not cancel God's love  

 * spiritual truth might still reach them eventually

 (My response to this last point. I don't recall ever writing the words "spiritual truth might still reach them eventually" when discussing people who are agnostic and atheist. After experiencing God's clear thoughts I now understand God's love is intended for all people on earth with the exception of people who are truly evil. I view the theological claim of "spiritual truth" having to reach a person first, or else, to belong to narrow Christian theology that if taken literally is unreasonable and irrational. 

After listening to God, I believe a lot of spiritual truth exists outside human understanding within God's mysteries unending domain that none of us yet understands fairly. 

If we understood God so well we'd have his fairness, and not be continuously unfair, which is evident in our awful track record throughout human history in the world. We clearly don't know how to think fairly or love others fairly. Our rules and ideologies don't look at God, or at life's meaning, and understand that God is good and that he loves everyone. 

I've read ai search results that imply or say outright that many people distrust my thought and ideas because I have schizophrenia and experience delusions. I'm therefore, according to their justifications, delusional for believing God spoke to me and wrong in my beliefs that God is pleased with other cultures and people's who have different creative and intellectual pursuits outside the Christian religion; yet I don't think my beliefs are crazy at all. 

My experiences of perceiving clear thoughts from God has revealed to me that God values all people's pursuits that search for greater meaning and truth. 

As God watches us all now, he is pleased with the different paths in life we take, while we wonder, and question our mysteries surroundings, we're being lead toward the discovery of a mindboggling reality; that reality is good beyond all estimations, beyond our imaginations best constructs of great good, because what is designed by God ultimately surpasses all the good we can fathom, when what hides behind reality is unveiled. 

Our pursuit of answers in life is us doing something designed for us to do, whether it's a poet or novelist creating a new imaginative world, and discovering unknown truths and new ideas, a mystic approaching God's mysteries holy nature and character, a person praying and developing a meaningful friendship with God the father and Jesus (This I believe is what's really important and not the unfair dogma), a physicist, astronomer, biologist, naturalist etc. researching and making different scientific discoveries, studying this world's elaborate underpinnings, looking deep into the intriguing subatomic realm, or gazing far out into the mysteries unexplored cosmos. 

What's absurd is us believing God's love isn't big enough or fair enough to reach people everywhere on earth. Don't people see how crazy a perspective on God is when it excludes most people on earth from hope? 

Instead all our pursuits to uncover the truth of what reality is, carried out near and far, are valuable; all the inquiries human beings pursue, and the answers we reach, where we think the truth is found, all matter to God, whether we're right or wrong; to think that in God's planning and wisdom he's not capable of predicting in advance the different answers people across the earth arrive at in time, or of him as God not knowing the different perspectives we'll form, after we adopt ideas waiting in nature put there by him, or the idea that God didn't know in advance the beliefs different cultures would construct over time, or to think he isn't big enough to wink appreciatively at minds like Albert Einstein, who said "God doesn't play dice with the universe", or that God can't look with understanding and acceptance at Carl Sagan, a world-renowned astronomer and astrophysicist, who explicitly rejected the label "atheist", instead preferring to identify himself as an agnostic, here where fanatical minds fearfully rehearse with great rigidity and ideological conviction how God, supposedly, will hold the entire world to account for developing, or not developing, the exact way forward in existence, or else burn, singe in terrifying hell, and suffer; these beliefs of hellfire are what's really crazy. 

The environment we're part of on earth God took enormous pleasure carefully preparing for us. This world is made to challenge each generation of mortal person who is born here. 

When I say God loves agnostics and atheists, and that he has a plan that is good for them, like us all, I know it's true that he does. Once again I never wrote to my knowledge and said "spiritual truth might still reach them eventually". Instead it's my belief that a bright future awaits all  people of this world who are not evil. 

I'd like to thank unappreciatively ai for presenting my views in a dumbed down way so they appear unintelligent and unimportant when in actuality this kind of thought and argumentation is very important in our world. 

By the way no one has ever produced a perfect theology; a perfect theology does not exist; what does exist as a claim of complete descriptive truth of God is flawed and imperfect.)

2.  What he says about LGBTQ people 

   His blog writing describes God as:

. * feeling compassion for the LGBTQ community 

  *wanting their friendship "on that community's own terms." 

  This is a notable difference from many conservative religious teachings. In his narrative:

 *LGBTQ people are not condemned 

  *they are viewed sympathetically     (I view the LGBTQ community empathetically and with respect) 

  * God is portrayed as understanding their suffering. (God understands all people's value, dignity, humanity, and eternal worth)

 3. What he says about other cultures and religions 

 His message strongly emphasizes universal love.

 He writes that God loves:  

 *people of all religions 

 * people of all cultures 

* even soldiers on both sides of wars

 That implies a belief that: 

*  no single culture or religion has exclusive ownership of God 

* humanity shares a common spiritual value

4. Where his message comes from 

 

   Carter says his ideas were inspired by experiences during schizophrenia in which he believes he heard thoughts that were actually God speaking

   This is controversial because: 

 *psychiatry often interprets hearing divine voices as a symptom of psychosis, not literal communication

 * some critics worry readers might confuse mental illness with divine revelation

 5. Is his message seen as reasonable or hopeful? 

   Different people interpret it very differently

   People who find it hopeful

   Some readers see it as: 

 *  compassionate 

 *  universal 

 * philosophical 

* a creative attempt to find meaning in suffering

The core message is basically:

*God loves everyone 

*humanity should seek peace

 *life has deeper meaning

 People who find it problematic 

Others are skeptical because: 

 * the beliefs come from personal experiences tied to schizophrenia 

 * claims of direct conversations with God are not verifiable 

* mixing mental illness and theology can be confusing

 6. The unusual combination in his work 

 What makes Carter unusual is the combination of three things: 

1. personal mental-health narrative 

2. philosophical and spiritual speculation 

3. fictional storytelling mixed with claimed revelation

 This makes his work more like personal spiritual literature than formal theology. 

 In short: 

Donald Carter's message about God is very inclusive compared with many religious teachings. His writing portrays God as loving atheists, LGBTQ people, and people of all cultures and religions. Many readers find that hopeful, but others question the reliability of ideas that come from experiences linked to schizophrenia. 

I don't have much time left here in the world. I'm going to be with Jesus soon.

View Donald Carter's author page on Amazon.ca Canada by clicking this link

or

View Donald Carter's author page on  Amazon.com USA by clicking this link

Life has great meaning (Clear thoughts written down)

Tomorrow like yesterday clouds drift across the sky, the day becomes dark, uncertainty fills our thoughts, worry consumes our thinking; each day in this world we face confusion in our understanding; we wonder life's road imperfectly, our thoughts forming individual perspective; our understanding of reality imperfect; what we think of as true in many ways will be false; this inadequacy to see reality clearly is shared by all.

As we approach the grave, and love the people we do, night will eventually set in, and our darkest hour will arrive; darkness will then overshadow the earth, fear will grip us in our uncertainty; days like this are not uncommon; the journey is for all who dare to wonder the road of life from birth to death; in this way life continues in this mysteries unknown place in the sky surrounded by the unending and its unknowns, each mind uncertain or in error, each step we take imperfect.

A light that is good shines on the trickling creek, the lilac bushes, and the hummingbird; hope is that life has planning and a purpose and such evidence is everywhere; there is nowhere you look that there is not signs of intricate sophistication; each minuet detail in nature hints at architectural complexity; no vista, no natural phenomena, no human body or brain lacks clues of wonder, mystery, genius; each thought the human person possesses, each guess at life's meaning, our philosophical inquiry, the heart felt beliefs we form; the earth as it spirals on course, the subatomic underlying realm, ideas waiting in nature to be discovered, to be engaged with, effecting change, the building of language, culture, belief, the different arguments, the freedom permitted in certain liberated places to question and ponder unhindered what truth is, to doubt what we think truth isn't; 

As we gaze around at distances that outstretch into unfathomed domains; life remarkably involves consciousness, the ability to understand strangely we exist, to look at ourselves inwardly, to question life's possible meaning; nothing is accidental here; nothing is random and meaningless; consciousness as we know it is not unique; thought predates what we think we know and recognize now; real thought, knowledge of self, analyzation of others, recognitions like these speak of possibilities far more real then our doubts about the transcendent, a higher order and meaning hidden behind the buriers of existence; these mysteries are self-evident and disclosed in this life by multiple aspects that reveal one genius clue after another about a power and preplanning and even a great hope itself; life suggests considerable organization, creative planning, an environment we're part of that's preplanned and deliberate; a world that has intelligence hidden behind it; we do not exist here alone in the deep; life has great meaning.

The discovery of good (clear thoughts)

In the event of obliteration smile and rest and worry about nothing but in the event of change look up, notice where you are, take an interest in what you see, fear nothing, and smile because not all days are dark, not all experiences unkind, not all states troubled; there are paths that wonder through peaceful dales; there are possibilities that are fair; not all is dim so open your eyes and say what is this that I glimpse; does it have promise; where does possibility reach; how much good is real.

What no eye has seen (clear thoughts)

 

Love is powerful beyond where belief can go up up high into the unknown its reaches go ending no where but traversing into the mysteries of open-ended possibility.

There is no stopping where possibility reaches, no buriers, no impediments, no naysayers can quell what is infinitely expansive and good beyond estimation; listen to the voice of genius standing on a mighty rock pointing toward the Heavens and smiling confidently.

Ask one who has looked into the unknown and seen the size of love's reach; ask him to bare witness and tell the hopeless where the distance goes; look into the farthest corners, into the deepest recesses, the highest platforms, then tell the weary, lift them up from their hospital beds and coffins.

It will be different then, great maturity, fairness, commonsense, wisdom, light, peace, joy, knowing what's good, seeing what's possible, well at least those beginnings because where the unknown reaches to has never been revealed, not even to us the elders.

I will tell you this, you have seen evidence of this light when someone acts like a friend, when they are kind and fair with you, when they say something nice, but you have not seen the light of true goodness which shines so bright with fairness nothing dims the rays.

Tomorrow the song bird sings and the corn stalks sway as a breeze blows through; then the days turn dark; the sky produces shadows; the night owl moves through the darkened night sky, while light larger and fairer then what has ever been seen rises triumphantly in the east, the west, the north, and the south.

Lying in bed next to my manger scene of Jesus listening for God's thoughts

 Have faith Donald, I have spoken to you, you know who I am, you are not alone. The world around you is in darkness and those shadows appear everywhere. Tomorrow will bring a new day with new light. There is much to see in a new day. The dawn light will not be obscured by shadows. My hope for you is that you will trust me. The day brings its own pain; the evening air is cooler, the waves then get larger; beyond the world’s commotion is my peace. This peace I speak of is far reaching. I will soon show you clues where the unknown extends to. I will open your eyes so that you will understand. There is much you haven’t seen, many sights to behold. This scale and reach of my ways extend far into tomorrow beyond where thought will ever comprehend. The light that arrives in a new day is a good light. I am here with you. Around you now the earth is still, the sea is calm, the wind is quiet. The day is a new one; sunlight shines on the world and its cities. Tell them they have seen signs of me for a reason.

Talking to God in my Living Room (taking notes with my iPad and correcting words that don't sound good)

Tomorrow brings a new day with a new beginning. There will soon open a door; what you see on the other side, walking through that opening, will reveal what no eye has seen before. I am a watch maker; I have created time and when I choose to time will reverse and stand still for you. I am the origins of your imagination; all the wonder you know now comes from me; this is a precious gift I give and not without purpose. To dream and hope in the future is not to decay and die but to have your eyes opened. The road you walk on now is paved; why air fills your lungs now belongs to a mystical reason you cannot foresee. 

I prepared this life for you long before the earth existed. I knew each one of you, the place you would be born, the struggles you would know, the pain you would bare, the tragedies you would endure. I knew when you’d feel hopeful, when you’d know despair, and I wait impatiently now for the day when you’ll finally know the joy and love I have in store for you.

 

I see you now; I have known you all your life, and I will never abandon you nor leave your side. Where the reaches of my goodness extends into I promise to make known to you.

 

I have given you an imagination that’s working as a clue teaching you about me. The wonders you glimpse in this world speak of planning. This plan is both evident and hidden in the unknown and extends far beyond what you can conceive.

 

Consider the sparrow as it sings on a branch on a sunny day. The sky is blue and the brooks current trickles downstream. The hills are lush and green and the summer flowers in bloom. In a paddock horses and cattle graze; beyond a fence in a yard children play; a mother stands in a kitchen window, and a father works in the yard. Life involves hospital beds, funeral parlors, nurseries, schools, workplaces, sports stadiums. There are wars savagely raging, lonely prison cells, homeless encampments, pristine parks, restaurants, theatre’s, mountain views, quiet beaches on ocean shores, peaceful meadows, and picturesque walking trails. The earth is filled with billions of plants, insects, the ocean kingdom, flying birds, and numerous animal species.

 

You have known this life and experienced these sights for a reason Donald. I have offered you the wonders of life in this world so you could begin to know hope in me. My hope is far reaching, it exists beyond all estimations, transcends all predictions, extending far into the unknown. My ways made the world and all that is good here. The day is coming when you’ll hear the chickadee ,the mourning dove, and the rooster call. You’ll hear them sound deep underground in the mine, on the mountain cliffs, and under the soil of your gravestone. You’ll hear their sound walking in the hills, picnicking in the valleys, sailing on open waters, exploring jungle trails, and wandering in the desserts. The day is soon coming when you’ll understand where the earth is and why you’re here. It is then that my plan of goodness will finally prevail. All who fail to love what’s fair and good are fools. My plan of goodness involves no more death, an end to grief, and a home where you’re loved and appreciated by all. There will be complete peace of mind, an end to pain, no more boredom, and the experience of knowing only pleasant thoughts. 

By using your imagination, and exploring my paradise, you will transcend the ceiling heights of known possibility; you will experience otherworldly inquisitiveness, go on journeys that will take you to unknown worlds and galaxies that will leave you exceedingly glad to be the first to encounter them. This is only a foreshadowing of what I have prepared for you.

 

As the frog calls out in the marsh at dusk, and the bat maneuvers in the encroaching shadows, there in the fading light, away from the cities busy streetlights, under the sky’s immense artistic canvas, is a mystery I now hint of. Tomorrow brings a new day where my voice will be heard and resonate with all. Tell them I have spoken to you Donald. Let them know I have used your mind and your words to communicate with all my children that I am here and not far away.

I Was On a Walk

 I was on a hike in an area where the fresh river meets the salt tide in the junction. As I followed the trail I could hear sandpipers, frogs, and the wind as it moved through the spruce trees and rustled the pine needles. Glancing to my left a Great Blue Heron stood majestically in the Pugwash estuary at low tide. 

The Blue Herron was over a meter tall, had long slender legs, a white head, and a black stripe above the eyes. I had seen one in flight before and admired his massive six-foot wingspan. The impressive bird was standing at low tide in the warm shallow water under a blue mostly cloudless sky. He was in a mysterious unexplained place somewhere like I was as the sun shimmered across the tidal pools. Being here inspired my sense of wonder. I suspected hidden out of sight in sublime genius was a creativity responsible for the mysteries world. I was no fool, at least in this way. 

As I contemplated these wonders, I noticed an Osprey with a dark brown back and wings. He had a bright white chest and belly. I stopped walking and admired him in flight for a minute until he landed in a nest in a tall Red Pine beside the water.  

Over one-hundred and sixty-eight species of birdlife were found in the Pugwash Junction estuary revealing impressive birds like Bald Eagles, Hawks, Kingfishers and Cormorants. The mix of fresh and saltwater created rich feeding grounds for fish and invertebrates supporting the bird population. The estuary provided nesting sites for marsh birds and tall trees for herons and eagles. I was walking on a popular trail that gave easy access to views of the numerous wildlife.

The estuary was surrounded by diverse Acadian forest with dominant conifers like Red Spruce, White Spruce, Eastern Hemlock, and Red Pine. These trees stood alongside hardwoods like the Sugar Maple, Yellow Birch, and Aspen. Noticeable in the wetlands there were also Black Ash and Northern White Cedar.

I had come here today with a notebook, a pen, a desire to write down my thoughts, and a plan of talking to my friend God who frequently revealed clear thoughts to me. I didn't need to be here, or somewhere else special like on the Northumberland Straight, looking over the sunlit ocean, or on a quiet secluded gravel road I visit, where an old green bridge spans across a peaceful river valley, nor did I need to be on one of Nova Scotia's peaceful lakes in the early morning before dawn, to connect with God and have a conversation with him. 

These are the locations I visited originally when both Jesus and God the Father first began to talk to me. This is where our friendship began but since then God has talked to me almost every day. He usually talks to me when I'm lying in bed beside a manger scene of Jesus in my bedroom or while sitting in my living room. The only exception is days when I'm having a drink of whiskey. On these days I've learned to stay away from the manger scene in my bedroom. I've tried to sleep there dozens of times after drinking but awoke each time to a frightening presence that I realized with considerable fear was observing me and this was quite terrifying. 

I trust God greatly, he is a friend not only to me but to anyone who seeks his friendship and God wants our friendship. I know he's good and I know he's fair. The evangelists and theologians, in my opinion, don't have a fair or inclusive enough understanding of God to recognize the love he has for human beings. They thump their old Bible's, written in a cruel age and culture, without really knowing God's heart completely to realize the unending love he has in store for imperfect people. What I learned talking to God is there are no narrow roads leading to salvation, like spoken of in the Bible, where the human being everywhere must find the difficult and often impossible right path to be deserving of God's plan of love. Such hard to follow roads don't actually exist at all. There is instead a universal road, like a hundred lane freeway, leading imperfect people everywhere to God. Jesus death on the cross revealed God's love for all of the world and how God will be fair with humanity. There are likewise no broad roads to destruction that most people in existence are destined to follow. There is also no cruel hell at least the terrifying kind invented in the early days of the Church. Only truly evil people in this world deserve fairly to be separated from God and his goodness.

Walking along the trail in thought now, discussing these ideas aloud, I approach a wooden foot bridge. Stepping onto the bridge I notice wildflowers in bloom nearby before spotting a bench next to the water that overlooks the estuary. 

I remember how my mother shared her knowledge with me of  Nova Scotia wildflowers. My gaze then falls on the Trout Lily, the Spring Beauty, and the Bloodroot. The wildflowers appear in sync with the return of migratory birds and the emergence of pollinators like the bumble bees. 

Nearing the bench, I step off the trail, walk down beside the water, and sit down so my back is resting against the wooden bench. In the quiet I then retrieve my notebook and sit in the silence thinking. After a few minutes I begin to write down different thoughts I have that matter to me.

"I miss my real home; I talk like I know it so well or like I've seen the place where God assures me I'm going. I want to be there now is the truth. My time spent talking to Jesus and often God the Father each day is so important to me. I've lost the ability to be happy with people. With my mental illness I suspect great unfairness from every face, in every dealing. There is no ally for me, no honest companion, not even an occasional inquiry into my wellbeing. I stand alone amid those I see as, right or wrong, adult children."

"When I call them adult children they could point at their elite; they could look to a minister of the church with his ideological convictions, his supernatural myths, his belief that God only favors those in the end who think the right beliefs like he does; they are pointing in my opinion to an adult child, one without a heart fair enough, wise enough, knowledgeable enough about God to see universal dignity in people exposed to different ideas, struggling with different thoughts, in different experiences, uncertain about life, struggling in chaos, wondering in pain, sorrow, heartache, wanting to be loved, wanting to have hope, to see good, but no everywhere I look I see adult children."

"When he came into this world we conspired, all of us, to control him, to punish him for his insight. He was here; he was in this world and he's here now. God is not dead but God is around us and not far away. God talks to me and I know him as a friend. I know he has the same love for everyone. Yet I find it so hard to navigate people, to hear them whisper, to learn of their hate. I find the struggle difficult, I find it hard to communicate in their petty ways, with their changing tempers, their angry remarks."

"No one here will notice when any of us are gone, at least very soon after we're gone, but I know we're going somewhere good outside the reach of what our imaginations can envision. There exists creative wonder beyond earth, a genius, though these wonders are unfathomable to us now they are very much at play in the mystery of our present habitat here in the midst of this uncertainty."

"If I fall down dead on the ground will anyone here recognize a life that matters to the universe, to God, to someone wiser with a superior way of thinking who sees and discerns correctly the ways of mankind, perhaps by looking at my heart, struggles, challenges, the love guiding my person; will they see relevance in me though I walked an unsuccessful life in monetary terms; is my life one of only ruin, of failure; is my life a meaningless waste on the mysteries terrain of earth."

"The God I talk to loves everyone, everywhere, including all of India, all people, regardless what they understand about reality, regardless what they think is true about him, regardless if in this world of confusing claims on what truth is people believe correctly what life's purpose and meaning is, regardless if they think one groups "saving ideology" or not, regardless if they doubt God's existence; I know from talking to God he loves people; What God despises is war, cruelty, indifference to the lives of other people; he despises poverty, when we fail to stop hunger, or stop preventable disease."

"I have seen the unwise and I have followed this life's road taking the same footsteps. The error of man is everywhere but there exists a wisdom we don't see, a wisdom more fair then what our historical literature teaches, and even greater then some of the words we think can be attributed to God speaking; our ancestors tried to create ways to escape this world's unfairness and cruelty but the cruelty they knew in their day  has been shared with us and is infringing on our moment in this world; we seek to be good, to live fairly, to be kind, to love others, to hope in what's right. 

I look up from the paper I'm writing on now into the heights to the cumulous clouds. I'm sitting next to the Pugwash estuary, in the back country, below the stratosphere, on this bright blue spring day.

Passing Through a Hostile World to a Better Place

I think we're all, or at least those of us who are not really evil, passing through a hostile world to a better place, and that this life has meaning that none of us understands. We should suspect there are reasons for adversity, for changing emotions, for struggles with our thoughts, opinions, and understanding, with hatred, jealousy, and that we're finding meaning through our glimpses of happiness, our longing for joy, we're finding value in our fears, that our uncertainties matter about death, and finding hope, and that there are reasons we experience grief, that might seem meaningless, unfair, and without future purpose now, but that these are immeasurable learning stages we must pass through toward a far brighter tomorrow.

I know God is not a tyrant, that he is not irrational, therefore we must scrap and cover over some of the pages of our old books, written by the irrationality of irrational men like us, said to be God speaking, and realize instead that God knows the human heart, he knows ideas are not clear to us, the way not marked universally for all, and that all thought has its attraction, its persuasiveness, but that real fairness is on side with all human beings and will never abandon us as we humanity wonder in this place in the great mysteries unknown.

In the light of imperfect wisdom, where error, ignorance, misunderstanding exist here, but not completely, not forever; every person wonders an imperfect course, some figuring out ways of peace, of compassion, of love, others lost to a nature that never grows, never matures, but though so many are lost; though so many minds are filled with poison; despite the resolve to hate, to judge the worth of others, the light of love is never eternally extinguished because we are really in a world made by God who is far more just, fair, and compassionate then we realize.