In confusion and uncertainty I stand

He sat with his head pulled back. The look he held was a blank looking stare. The look seemed to know something the people around him thought from watching him. The features on his face were interesting to the questioning and curios minds beside him. He seemed in this state to be in bewilderment or subjectively to be at a threshold point or an important juncture in life alive in his dimension of time.

 

The look suggested reassignment the people considered who were talking beside him. Perhaps his current philosophy, or any philosophy he'd perhaps studied for personal development, had now utterly failed to satisfy him to explain the truth of life.

 

The observers spoke quietly among themselves about him. It was like, they reasoned, the man was set adrift because of a great realization and now was like an old unwanted ship unsure where to go left to float far away.

 

The people were right about this. The man who now sat there was no longer able to trust in mans knowledge, he’d come to realize this painfully. The man was soberly aware, because of this new realization, that all such belief, in the truth claims of mortal men on the grandest of scale, were finally now to be seen by him for their many inconsistencies. These thought systems were to him imperfectly designed and were only able to give imperfect or even totally fallible answers.

 

The people watching him now could sense the momentous state he now floundered in.

He decided to open up to the people and then went about in telling them his journey and resulting dilemmas. The people of course, to no surprise of his, dismissed his skepticism easily. Like all people they were used to doing this, dismissing other ideas by nature, when dealing in not held ideology.

 

The people in dismissing him, like dismissing other foreign thought of any kind, were to him just acting in their ignorance. They were incapable of registering the complete thoughts behind another persons system of opinions.

 

If they knew his opinions better, he thought, it would make a difference to these people perhaps.

If their minds were able and willing to concentrate simultaneously across experiences to see his views completely they might better understand. Yet because people are limited in conscious deliberation to momentary evaluations of a certain perspective of a personal priority then because of this the people don’t usually have the ability to look empathetically into other peoples minds and see into their constructed ideological worlds. He knew because of this inability to understand others It was very difficult and uncommon for many people to understand different people of differing ideology.

 

The man felt alone now because of all this. He felt naïve to have been down the road he’d just had to walk down over the past years of his life but he still trusted God. The road got him to where he now was. The insight he had come to was to him commonsensical. He thought his new realization was true  because he knew how the human mind gathered information and made decisions and then adopted beliefs. He knew in this decision making process how flawed that human judgment making was.

 

He believed there was perhaps  out there somewhere, an alternative to the absolute explanations of truth held by thought systems of the world. That truth could then, if it was found, describe his world. Yet for now no such authority currently explained the truth. He held the current truth claims of mortal men in universal suspicion of their accuracy.

 

He didn't know enough of life experience, nor did they know enough he felt, to rest in their desperate assurances. Pursuing truth meant the business of finding yourself caught up in a kind of entanglement. That entanglement involved searching for the truth through ideas. In the deceptive entanglements of differing ideas human beings live in the world by adopting beliefs. The vulnerability of a person commonly finds him or herself falsely in the clutches of those variations of differing ideas. Other human beings then more commonly then not lose sight of that other persons hope as a human person because of their held doctrine in that variation of belief. Does this seem wise or

just?

 

The man had looked at the  faces around him in life. It was at the moment upon seeing their innocent faces when he finally registered humanities vulnerability to differing persuasions. He pitied his own humanity then with a mixture of defiance, that we blindly trust by being so easily persuaded, and empathy, for the dignity of the human person. Hopelessly confused the man finally then lost his mind entirely.

 

He was reduced finally to a state of disorientated and nonsensical rambling. He then went wondering away from the village of the people and upon finding a hill he stood there on its brim urinating. He turned and looked back at the world.  He scoffed at the many overly certain minds in it. He mimicked the minds that were convinced that the utterly infinite and uninvestigated expanses that lay beyond them held definitively no intelligent creative life force. He scoffed at man eating whales, parting red seas, and myth systems full of flaws and irregularities like talking donkeys. 

 

What did they want of him anyway, he now asked, a puppet? Did they want of him a believer in fantastical stories of magical earlier times? Did they want to console him with their crafted reassurances in sermon forms? or to terrorize him with stories of judgment and eternal torment? Or steal away his awe at this life existing as opposed to nihilism and nothingness as the real state of any potential order.

 

Lets be real clear about something people. We weren’t given hospitality in a fantastical land of clearly discoverable answers like colorful cheerful roses waiting in a fancy garden for us. Human beings have been lumbering across time taking on evolving explanations all the way along and we as yet don’t know where we are and the truth in totality isn’t yet discernable to any of us. Yet I still have a friend in God. I trust that friendship with God like nothing else and no one can take it from me whether my doctrine is in compliance of their truth explaining or not.