Not the clear thoughts of God written down but just me thinking after feeling inspired

 To look beyond human logic, argumentation, and our created understanding of certainty, and stare into the unapproached, unseen, and previously unimagined. To search the unknown for answers and mysteries while hoping to understand and see God. 

I want to be close to God. This is what my heart needs to be in a place counseled by the almighty. I realize God's ways are the fairest. He is the only truly rational voice in this world. 

It is God who loves people everywhere on this earth. There is no internal compass guiding our minds that can realistically give every person everywhere the chance to accept one religious claim over another. We walk in human error and misstep on this rocky imperfectly mapped terrain of life. The wilderness we're in is rough and unfair and human rationality giving council to the unknown, and guiding our thoughts and beliefs, is frequently rough and unfair as well. 

I'm walking and there is a hill ahead, rising to a peek, and a descent, that slopes gradually down into a meadow. The grass and wildflower dotted meadow has a path that leads to a creek. The stream I discover, flowing downstream, has a mossy green covered bank.  I walk under the shade of a clump of oak trees, stepping under their branches, listening to the water trickle over river stones, mostly submerged, a few rising above the surface.

 I admit I'm weary now. I've experienced man's ways and struggled with his belligerence for too long.

 I resume my thoughts thinking about truth while walking through a grove of elms. I hear blue jays, robins and a squirrels saucy voice. 

I believe after listening to God's clear thoughts that this life involves more mystery then any man, even the wisest of spiritual leaders, has come close to imagining. The possibilities God has planned for us, who is behind this life, are open-ended and vast.  The supposed answers to life's big questions that prior ancient generations devised craftily, in some cases deceptively, have cemented those claims into religious law, and they used clever, and perhaps unscrupulous methods to do so. Two examples of this fearmongering is the warning in Revelations at the end of the Bible that we must believe all words in the Bible, and not take away from anything, or be inflicted by plague, or the threat of our name being taken out of the lambs book of life. These are archaic cruel methods that have decided for future generations, supposedly, the question of who God is completely, who God accepts, and who he doesn't accept. I believe uncertain frightened people have lined up far to easily in fear from these words and accepted these ancient cruel teachings gullibly as the final fate of all people everywhere. 

It is God I trust and not any other person in this world to guide me. There are no real truth tellers here, no supportive loving hearts, only chaos lovers, individuals with minds lead by some destructive, mean, cruel motivation. The people I grew up with, who I thought were my friends, are jealous and resentful of me. They have only contempt and dislike for any accomplishment I achieve even the simple accomplishment of being in indie writer and producing six books and audiobooks on Amazon, Audible, and Apple. They have always had an appetite to reduce my worth, step on my dignity, and hurt my reputation; they are incapable instead of bringing a more harmonious order to their thinking, emotions, and perspective. They aren't motivated to forgive, to be kind to people, even people they once called friends, but instead they just want to gossip cruelly and bond in their contempt for others.

I have to free myself from the chain reaction this destructiveness causes. I need to resist being poisoned by this toxicity so I'm not turned into someone I don't want to be. It's like I'm living in a demonically influenced world where people, their ideas, and emotional responses, are being hijacked by attacks, like seeds being planted, maybe placed in the brain, or consciousness, from outside, like from dark spirits, principalities and powers in the air, appearing in the subconscious as unclear signs, language not put together, that has to be deciphered, then, often as effected people's emotions stir with anger, the thoughts gradually get interpreted by us, while we're oblivious of the nefarious source, driving our reasoning toward destructive behaviors of darkness, like feelings of revenge, resentment, or the desire to hurt someone back emotionally or physically, growing in us by the seeds ideas, coming out of some demonic realm, influencing and driving the thought processes while naive people remain oblivious to their destructiveness, the harm filling people's minds with poison, producing conflict, disharmony, the desire to inflict pain, cause chaos, and many people don't know enough about what's happening to resist, their oblivious; instead we're all dancing about on strings like puppets of the devil, many of us losing our lives to violence, or lengthy prison sentences, living in unhappy relationships of meanness, or merely creating lives filled with misery. 

I considered these thoughts while imagining myself looking up through an opening in the trees past the swaying branches and trembling leaves.  I could see a brilliant blue filling the stratosphere. The sun was bright over the Nova Scotia terrain. Its rays covered wide swatches of forest, hollows, and groves, feeding the wild flowers and warming the quiet swimming holes of the creek. Up ahead was a clearing with a grass covered forest floor. A grave was located in the center of the clearing made up of old stones with one small headstone. On the headstone was my name and all other people's names who lived.

How? Why? What is the reason for so many names appearing on the same headstone I now wondered. What was God guiding my heart to understand. Why is it I dare to stray so fearlessly away from my own tribe. Where did I get this conviction to defy Christian theology, to think outside the box, and dare to believe God's plan for humanity is larger then the Christian community thinks. I object to having to rigidly follow the teachings of tradition and I believe love is more sophisticated and fair, far beyond what scholars of my own religion indoctrinated me to believe. Where is God leading my heart to now. What is my heart telling me about God's ways and his reach. I already know the answer because God told me. He told me his love and plan extends far beyond what different religious sects and church tradition teaches. God's love belongs to all mankind universally everywhere and Jesus death on the cross is part of that plan of love that loves all people, of all cultures and beliefs, whatever their explanation of what the nature of reality is whether their right or wrong.

A day will soon come that I won't be here in the world. On that day all men will be replaced by future generations. What will we know lying in the topsoil as the red clay covers over our dust or coffin. What wisdom will be known by us following death, when our eyes are fully opened, and the ways of what is truly good become illuminated. I know we'll experience beauty, fairness, compassion, and love, and the wisdom we'll be given, and the power of God's love will rise in us to a magnificent scale of immense  inner reassurance, sublime peace, and unimagined euphoria, free of the vices, habits, and petty hatreds we once held. We will no longer experience anxiety, fear, injustice, boredom, hatred, pain, worry, or any unfairness but instead continually see what is truly good, our eyes opened to understand the fairness, friendship, and goodness of God who wants all our friendship.