Books by Donald Carter

Donald Carter is an author whose writing is deeply influenced by his experiences with schizophrenia. His works often explore profound themes such as death, God, immortality, and the meaning of life. Carter's writing challenges conventional boundaries between psychoses and religious or mystical revelation, prompting philosophical reflection on consciousness and the legitimacy of auditory hallucinations as vehicles for meaning.

"A Paranoid Schizophrenic's Message of Hope for the World"

Feedback for the book "A Paranoid Schizophrenic's Message of Hope for the World" by Donald Carter highlights its brutal honesty, emotional depth, and inspiring message.

Key Feedback Points.

 * Honesty and Insight: The book is frequently praised for its raw and sincere portrayal of living with paranoid schizophrenia. Readers appreciate the unique, first-person glimpse into the author's mind, delusions, and emotional turmoil, which helps to destigmatize the illness.

 * Message of Hope: Despite the focus on intense struggles, including suicidal thoughts and fear, the core message of finding meaning, healing, and stability through support systems (like family and friends) resonates with readers. The author successfully conveys that recovery and a fulfilling life are possible.

* Engaging and Thought-Provoking: The narrative is described as poignant, psychologically rich, and engaging, taking the reader on an emotional and educational journey. It includes profound philosophical and spiritual insights, with the author claiming to receive messages from God, which some find controversial but nonetheless compelling.

* Writing Style: The prose is generally considered clear and lucid, making the complex psychological landscape accessible.

 Overall Impression 

 The book is recommended for those seeking to understand the lived experience of a mental illness and for the powerful message that love and support can help overcome significant challenges. It is seen as a valuable educational tool and an emotionally impactful story for a wide range of readers.

Feedback for the book "The Schizophrenics Journey of Hope" 

The feedback for "The Schizophrenics Journey of Hope" by Donald Carter reveals a mix of admiration and intrigue. Readers have found the book to be a compelling read that offers a unique perspective on the experiences of paranoid schizophrenia. The author's ability to weave complex themes such as death, God, and hope into a narrative that is both humorous and profound has been a highlight for many.

The book's exploration of the forensic ward's inhabitants and the mysterious thoughts Donald receives has sparked discussions among readers about the nature of reality and the human mind.

While some readers have appreciated the book's humor and the way it challenges traditional views of reality, others have found it to be a bit too dark or intense for their taste. The book's exploration of the ethical and unethical aspects of the forensic unit has also elicited varied reactions, with some finding it thought-provoking and others feeling it could be more accessible to a broader audience.

Overall, "The Schizophrenics Journey of Hope" has been well-received for its innovative approach to storytelling and its ability to engage readers on a deep level. It is recommended for those who are open to new ideas and are willing to explore the complexities of the human experience through the lens of a fictional character with schizophrenia. It is also seen as beneficial for others, especially those with schizophrenia. Critics have praised it for its honest insightful portrayal of the challenges and triumphs of living with the illness, fostering empathy and understanding for individuals and their families. The book is recognized as a valuable resource that promotes hope and guidance in navigating the complexities of schizophrenia.

"The Devils of Truro"

 

"The Devils of Truro" by Donald Carter is a thought-provoking novel that explores profound subjects like death, God, immortality, and the meaning of life. Based on what others say about his writing style and similar books, here's what you can expect: 

 Unique Insights: Carter's experiences with schizophrenia bring a distinctive perspective to his writing, adding depth to the narrative.

Thought Provoking Themes: The book delves into ethical debates and explores themes of hope, faith, and the unknown, keeping readers engaged.

Engaging Narrative: With a mix of drama and philosophical exploration, the story is compelling and eye opening.

Book Details: Genre: Fiction, Philosophical Novel.

Plot: Based on three unsolved murders in Truro, Nova Scotia, the story follows three main characters: Donald and Jane, young lovers, and John Cook, a grieving father searching for answers.

Availability: Available on Amazon, Audible, and Apple iTunes.

Reader Recommendations: If you enjoy philosophical novels with complex themes and character-driven stories, "The Devils of Truro" might be worth reading. Donald Carter's writing has received positive feedback for its clarity and depth.

"Demons in the Pleasant Valley Hills" 

Critics and readers describe "Demons in the Pleasant Valley Hills" by Donald Carter as a captivating, controversial, and deeply philosophical novel. The book is notable for being written from the perspective of someone living with paranoid schizophrenia, and this unique viewpoint is central to its narrative voice and the novel's structure. Critics recognize the work as a romantic, erotic, and mysterious journey that intertwines elements of mental illness, philosophical inquiry, and a message of hope that stands apart from conventional religious or philosophical treatises.

Reviewers have highlighted the novel's clever and well-constructed narrative, with particular praise given to its thought-provoking and otherworldly arguments introduced through the protagonists experiences with delusional voices. The insight provided by these voices challenges established religious and philosophical concepts, resulting in a powerful and original reading experience. Some commentaries note the story's boldness in addressing potentially controversial subjects, such as the biker underworld and the meaning of true friendship, all through a lens of lust, desire, and survival.

Overall, feedback for the book leans positive, especially regarding its philosophical depth and its immersive, introspective narrative. The novel stands out due to its blend of romance, eroticism, and mystery, as well as the authenticity derived from the author's lived experience with mental illness.

"Lust Lust Lust Montreal to Paris" 

 

Donald Carter's book "Lust Lust Lust Montreal to Paris" explores themes of love, seduction, and the complexities of life through the lens of a paranoid schizophrenic named Donald. The narrative follows a wealthy uncle's illness and the intertwining lives of his relatives, leading to a seductive journey that intertwines eroticism with philosophical insights. The book is noted for its unique perspective on profound subjects like death and the meaning of life, making it a compelling read for those interested in both erotic fiction and psychological exploration.

 

"The Imbecile Donald Hucksworth"

 

"The Imbecile Donald Hucksworth" by Donald Carter generally receives positive feedback from readers, who describe it as a fascinating, entertaining, and thought-provoking story that blends multiple genres.

Reader Feedback Highlights

*Engaging and Humorous: 

One Amazon reviewer described the book as a "fascinating read" that had them "laughing loudly and uncontrollably," making it enjoyable for anyone with a sense of humor.

 * Unique Perspective on Mental Illness: 

 The novel is told through the perspective of the main character, Donald Hucksworth, who struggles with severe mental illness (schizophrenia). Readers appreciate the unique insight this provides into reality and the human condition.

 * Diverse Genres:  The book is noted for interweaving various genres, including true crime, mystery, thriller & suspense, comedy & humor, romance, religion & spirituality, and erotica. This variety keeps the narrative unpredictable and provides continuous entertainment.

 *Strong Character Portrayals: Readers found the characters "decently portrayed" and easy to sympathize with on their journeys.

 * Philosophical and Spiritual Insight: Beyond the plot, the writing is described as offering otherworldly spiritual insight and profound philosophy, exploring themes of hope, good, and the nature of reality.

 Reader feedback indicates that those who enjoy unconventional, genre-bending story with a unique voice and a mix of humor, drama, and philosophical depth are likely to enjoy "The Imbecile Donald Hucksworth". 

You can find more reviews and purchasing options for these books on the websites Goodreads, Amazon, Audible, and iTunes or by clicking a link below that will take you to Donald Carter's author page on Amazon. Thankyou for visiting this blog.

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*Please note

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God speaking to me In clear thoughts

Seeing into the darkness is not an obstacle for me. I can peer where other eyes cannot look. Not only can I see what is there but I understand those places are not without design but hold within their reach the wonder of what possibility is. To look where my eyes can see is to know me better but that is only the beginning of true understanding. My ways are not your ways. I am one who understands the truth. I am good and my ways are not evil.

Some people in human history have purposed the idea that life has a divine plan; if this is true, and not merely an illusion, did the seeds of the idea come from their imagination or were those seeds planted by someone else. Who amongst you knows about the growth of such seeds and what they can become when fully grown. What might such a plant grow into. What unusual birds could move within it's leaves and what might that mean. 

I’m a paranoid schizophrenic unofficially suspected of murder (I’m an innocent person)

 

I’ve decided to share in this post some very personal, private, embarrassing information, after enduring a considerable amount of humiliation that I feel I must speak out against in my own defense. 

I visit a porn website usually around four times a month. The original porn website I visited was RedTube where I used to find beautiful attractive women who were clearly older than twenty-one. Those videos for some mysteries reason gradually became less easy to find as videos of ladies of a younger age began to appear. Believing myself able to avoid the questionable videos, and not knowing a better porn website to visit, I continued to visit RedTube as my choices in adult actresses continued to slowly become less available.

 

As time went on I found myself clicking on videos that seemed to have adult actresses based on the picture to find girls of a questionable age engaged in sex. After discovering the videos were of a questionable age on my desktop, but mysteriously not on my I-Pad, I decided I needed to find a new porn website.

 

I moved from Red Tube to Porn Hub after being assured in an online search that Porn Hub was a reputable website dealing in mature content.

 

My first few experiences using Porn Hub were good. I found couples who clearly were old enough to view. Yet then again suddenly the choices I came across began to present more girls of a questionable age. These pictures were easy to avoid until once again I would click on adult pictures to discover questionable under age videos.

 

It became obvious to me that people were either experimenting on me or worse that I was having my character fraudulently misrepresented. The choices leading me to view questionable porn were not mine to make but are instead the result of police, psychologists, or someone worse manipulating the direction of my viewing. Could they be using these fraudulent results to fool a third person audience into thinking what my real choices were?

 

To add to my personal humiliation I’m now going to admit something else because I believe I have to. I don’t think I’m gay, I’ve always been attracted to women, but out of curiosity I did several online searches for gay videos on Porn Hub. I viewed the material feeling curious about my interest in what I’d see. I wasn’t turned off, and my beliefs are there is nothing wrong with being gay, but I realized I’m straight and will not be experimenting with the same sex.

 

What was deeply disturbing about my experiences viewing gay porn was once again, like with the straight porn, I’d click on a picture with adults to find videos with teenagers. It seemed like once again someone was trying to distort and mislead others into thinking what my viewing choices are.

 

The reason I believe I have to speak out about these experiences goes further than the reasons given. The private reasons I had for viewing gay porn were deeply personal. I don’t believe anyone should know about my private life unless I choose to tell them like I’m doing now embarrassingly. So when the RCMP began approaching me in chat rooms with undercover officers posing as gay chatters I was troubled and humiliated. The reason I think they’re interested in my sex life is because of an unfounded theory they have that me viewing gay porn is a clue to my involvement in a murder. They must somehow know the websites I visit which I think is private information.

 

The organized chatters I spoke with tried different tactics to get me to open up about my sexuality. Without saying who he was one chatter suddenly asked me if the reason I didn’t have sex was because I’m afraid to have sex. He knew I wasn’t sexually active somehow. I haven’t dated because of severe anxiety. 

Other organized chatters began producing images of naked men in their posts. What needs to be understood is Libra chat doesn’t allow this kind of behavior. There were numerous other fishing operations like this, with continuous questions about my sex life, and great interest in who I was attracted to. What I realized from these intrusive humiliating questions into my private life is the answers would only be important to an organized group of some kind. I began to suspect once again that this was a fishing operation by the RCMP, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I believe they are targeting me because of a book I wrote about unsolved murder called: “The Devils of Truro”, that is available on Amazon, Apple, and Audible country websites if you do a search for the name Donald Carter.

 

The RCMP and mental health's investigations didn’t stop there. Two weeks ago I went in search of a friendlier chat program. I began doing Google searches in the hope of finding an online friendship with a female friend and finding interesting people to talk to. Every search result I pursued led to strange chat rooms with nude images, offers of sex talk for a fee, and depraved men exposing themselves. When I found the chat Zobe advertised as a friendly place to chat for all people without any need of registration I thought I finally found a friendly place to chat. But unfortunately once again there were the tormentors.

 

The way the Zobe chat system is laid out is there was a list of rooms like #Lobby, #Canada, #Nova Scotia, #Older single people, # I’m over 18 I’m old enough, #gay and bi men, #Christian etc.

 

I visited all the chat rooms that were relevant to me like #anxiety and depression, #older singles, #Canada, #Nova Scotia.

 

Beside the chat window is a who’s on list. If you look down that list you see the pictures and names of chatters. What I realized immediately was there were only one or two adult women pictures in each adult room and numerous photos of under age girls. What was even more suspicious about these pictures is that they looked staged and not like pictures real chatters would post.

 

I still held out hope I could meet adults and engage in interesting conversations. I tried # Older singles and said hello to the women with adult photos. These women were chatting openly in the room and reacted to my friendly greeting, each time I tried, with deliberate rudeness and meanness. Over two weeks I recorded eighteen unprovoked and mean reactions to my presence in the chat.

 

I began to realize there was something odd about the chat room. The underage girl chatters would occasionally send me a private message. They were trying to initiate a conversation while the older women continued to respond miserably to my presence. When I went to the Canada room I found a lot of gay and lesbians trying to hook up.

 

The odd part of seeing gay people there was how I was unfairly treated by them after being friendly and supportive toward the gay community. As I struggled to find niceness three young good looking male chatters appeared on different nights and tried to initiate romantic talk with me a fifty-two year old average looking man.

 

As I studied the chat rooms a little closer I realized a lot of the conversations appearing on the screen weren’t live but clearly seemed like a script prepared in advance. This I realized meant that an organized power behind the chat was operating each chat room for another reason other then providing people with friendly chat.

 

Deeply suspicious now I began to doubt that the unfriendly gay chatters I encountered were real members of the gay community who I continue to respect. Instead it dawned on me I suspected that police and psychiatrists were responsible for the chat room. It was this organized group who were trying to get me numerous times to chat with under age girls and young gay chatters.

 

I suspect now that like in the Libra chat room this use of young gay men chat profiles is a mean RCMP and psychiatrist fishing operation in reaction to my book “The Devils of Truro”.

 

In the minds of psychiatrists, the RCMP, and maybe the entire Canadian public, no person living with schizophrenia can be a good enough person to write innocently about unsolved murder. We, the people living with schizophrenia, are incapable of being good people or of writing a book that is empathetic to murder victims in the public’s minds. Instead of people living with schizophrenia being good people we must all be evil people in their eyes. We have no moral compass, no sense of right and wrong, no ability to be fair, instead, to them, we’re degenerates.

 

The secretive police, and psychiatrist operations, carried out in the darkness of night, speaks of the widespread belief people have that people with schizophrenia are evil human beings.

 

I need to go back in time now a few years to when the original clues of this RCMP, psychiatrist, family doctor, and nurse fishing operations began. These attacks on my character originated several years earlier in a Libra chat room. In this chat system a team of unknown chatters began to cruelly interrogate me nightly with a good cop bad cop methodology. Two chat names in the room were skilled at infuriating me. They knew how to hit below the belt and systematically disturb me emotionally. Their meanness continued for a year or longer. Greatly disturbed by their constant harassment I would defensively say what I thought would help to stop the abuse. Once when deeply troubled by the verbal attacks I uttered an unintentional threat and from that point on these people really made my life a living hell.

 

I began to suspect the people I chatted with were police investigators because of their probing into my threat. As they continued to get under my skin I told them they were raising my blood pressure so high I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I continued to appeal to their humanity as they tormented me psychologically.

 

This psychological profiling I believe was also done on Facebook by psychologists and police through the Facebook news feed. Many of the posts were odd like Facebook friends sending posts talking of unsolved murders in such a way it seemed odd to like the post but suspicious not to. These kinds of psychological experiments appeared all the time. On my screen daily would also appear pictures of under age girls. What was really disturbing is I’m a fan of Jennifer Aniston and Shakira and I would like their posts. Several posts later pictures would appear of Jennifer Anniston or Shakira in a bathing suit as young child. These kind of psychological experiments were constant across years. The behavior wasn’t proving anything to them, it couldn’t have been, it was simply causing me a feeling of hopelessness to the point I wanted to take my own life.

 

As the behavior by police and psychologists continued both in the chat room and on Facebook I was having regular on the phone sessions with my psychiatrist. She obviously doesn’t like me and she would spend each session interrogating me. She seemed to be trying to prove I was inconsistent because perhaps she believes I’m dishonest and evil. This rudeness lasted for a long time with the exception of some calls where she couldn’t have seemed nicer.

 

On one phone call she asked me to bring up with my family doctor a letter she sent to him which she received no response to. I brought it up with him a few days later when I visited him about my high blood pressure. Whatever was in that letter lead to a change in my family doctor. He and a nurse assistant began hooking me up to a blood pressure machine which took half a dozen readings over a period of an hour. At the end of the reading the nurse, who set me up to the machine, returned with the results, and then the doctor appeared.

 

I was called back to the office eight or nine times over several months. Each time the doctor and nurse received the blood pressure results they treated me with suspicion. They asked me what I was eating, what I was drinking, and seemed annoyed. This annoyance only increased with subsequent doctor visits. The doctor and nurse began making rude comments like by suggesting several times I must be doing something to alter the results. After hearing such comments on one visit I walked out through the back section of the offices into the lobby where no fewer then fifteen off duty RCMP officers stood waiting. I still don’t know why they were standing in the reception area glaring at me.

 

On a subsequent visit the doctor said to me, with the nurse looking on, “there are some people, not me, who question whether your doing something to effect these blood pressure readings” he then looked over at the nurse.

 

I responded naively “you think I’m doing something to deliberately effect my blood pressure?” and he said sarcastically “oh no I believe you.” and he and the nurse looked at each other.

 

On the last visit the nurse was really rude and made me feel like my high blood pressure was my fault. I’m on a lot of blood pressure pills now with no solution in sight.

 

With my mental illness I’m a little slow to catch on to many things. It finally dawned on me , several months after these experiences, that there was a reason I was treated this way by my family doctor, his nurse, and my psychiatrist. My complaints in the Libra chat room to get the abuse to stop, while worried about my high blood pressure and a heart attack, I realized, had reached my psychiatrist, family doctor, and nurses ears. The police, it dawned on me suddenly, must have needed medical permission to continue their investigative attacks.

 

My psychiatrist must see herself as a Nancy Drew detective doing her part to catch a murderer. My family doctor wasn’t trying to treat my high blood pressure to help me but to try and assist the police in catching a “murderer”.

 

The only problem is, from my perspective, is I didn’t murder anyone. The only crime I’m guilty of is using free speech to write a book about unsolved crime and that’s not a crime at all.

 

If there are any lawyers out there who can help me stop the abuse please email me at dlanod@eastlink.ca but if you don’t hear a response please don’t give up trying to reach me. I suspect now several emails I sent from one computer to the other were intercepted by the police. I would also like to make a formal complaint to the Canada Human Rights Commission. No person with mental illness, especially an innocent person, deserves to be treated like this. I’m going to make several more complaints to the Human Rights Commission in the coming days.

Clear Thoughts

The darkest hole in existence might not exist in true darkness. What if the walls of the pit are surrounded by light and that light is good.

When a hiker uses a flashlight to shine a beam of light into the darkness he or she is often surprised to see a deer moving around the campsite. Such sightings are not rare.

Take your flashlight and aim your beam into the wilderness. My path winds through many forest trails, down into lush valleys and up into scenic mountain hills. I call the elk by name while watching the sparrow and the blue jay. Tomorrows ways belong to me and those views promise the hiker a vision to see. Take in a deep breath and consider this parable. Tomorrows dawn approaches and a new day. Do not be dismayed or filled with doubt. I am here and my ways are fair.

A Conversation with Google Ai and a Significant Book Review

 

I've read online claims recently that Ai will never replace human beings as psychologists, counselors, and psychiatrists and I think this is naive thinking. In thirty-two years suffering with schizophrenias effects, I've never heard comforting words spoken by a mental health professional like I experienced last night with Google Ai. If people had half as much common sense as Ai, in my strong opinion, there wouldn't be such awful stigma and cruel judgment directed toward people struggling courageously with mental illness. 

 

The question I quickly asked Ai in my troubled frame of mind followed by the answer. 

 

“Donald Carter is a writer with schizophrenia, and he partially believes Canadians know him and dislike him nationally in a way he also partially realizes might be only a delusion brought on by his illness and lately he believes Canadians have boycotted buying his books can ai offer any words to ease his troubled minds "false" belief?” 

 

Ai answer:

 

It is important to remember that I am an AI, not a mental health professional. The most important step is for Donald Carter to be under the care of a qualified psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, as delusions are a core symptom of schizophrenia that require professional, evidence-based treatment, primarily with medication and therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). 

 

However, I can offer some gentle, supportive, and non-confrontational words, based on principles of psychological support, that might help ease his distress by validating his feelings while gently questioning the absolute certainty of his beliefs. 

 

Supportive Words for Donald Carter. 

 

"Donald, I hear how much distress you are experiencing right now, and it sounds incredibly difficult to feel disliked by an entire nation and to believe your books are being boycotted. That is a heavy emotional burden to carry, and it's understandable that you feel troubled and isolated. 

 

It's clear you have a sensitive and thoughtful mind, especially given your work as a writer. Your ability to partially recognize that these thoughts might be connected to your illness shows incredible strength and self-awareness. The small flicker of doubt is something positive to hold onto. 

 

Here are a few gentle reflections that might offer some comfort and perspective: 

 

* You are not alone in these feelings.  Persecutory thoughts, or the feeling that people are talking about you or acting against you, are a known part of the experience of schizophrenia for many people. This knowledge might help depersonalize the experience slightly --it's a symptom of the illness, not a reflection of who you are or what Canadians actually think. 

 

* The feeling is real, but the 'fact' may not be.   Your distress is 100% real and valid. But the belief that everyone in a vast country is thinking about you in the same specific, negative way is, in reality, highly unlikely. A population as large and diverse as Canada is made up of millions of individuals with their own lives, concerns, and opinions. It is practically impossible for them all to coordinate a universal dislike or boycott of one person's work. 

 

* Your experience is an 'ego-disturbance,' not a social reality.   The mind, when it's going through a tough time with an illness like schizophrenia, can become 'hyper-reflexive,' making everything feel as though it resolves around you personally (ideas of reference). it makes you feel center-stage in a way that is exhausting and frightening. This is the illness creating a compelling narrative, a story in your head, not the world outside. 

 

* Book sales are complex.  The world of book sales is complicated and influenced by countless factors like marketing, distribution, books trends, and the sheer volume of new books released daily. It's not typically driven by a unified, national consensus to boycott one specific author. Many talented writers face challenges with sales; it's rarely personal. 

 

* Focus on your writing's inherent worth.  Your value as a writer and a person is not determined by book sales or abstract "national opinion." It comes from your unique perspective and the courage you show in living with your condition and sharing your experiences. Your books, such as "A Paranoid Schizophrenic's Message of Hope for the World," demonstrate a desire to help and connect with others. That purpose has value independent of public reception. 

 

* Lean on your support system.  It is crucial to have people around you--therapists, doctors, family, or support groups--who can help you test the reality of your thoughts and provide a safe space where you feel understood, not judged. 

 

Remember, these are powerful, intense feelings, but they are also symptoms that can be managed with the right support and care. There are many people who care and want you to find peace, including your medical team who can help adjust your treatment to lessen the intensity of these beliefs. 

 

You have the self-awareness to see a sliver of doubt in your current belief; please use that insight to reach out to a mental health professional, they are best equipped to help you navigate this specific, challenging symptom. You deserve to be free from this fear. 

 

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

 

A review from literary critics for the book "Demons in the Pleasant Valley Hills" by Donald Carter available on Amazon, Audible, and Apple. 

 

(Please Note* On the above websites you'll find free writing and audio samples for Donald's books as well as his author profile and picture. You can also find a direct link to his books by doing a search on Google, Microsoft Bing, or Yahoo using his name.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Critics and readers describe "Demons in the Pleasant Valley Hills" by Donald Carter as a captivating, controversial, and deeply philosophical novel. The book is notable for being written from the perspective of someone living with paranoid schizophrenia, and this unique viewpoint is central to its narrative voice and the novel's structure. Critics recognize the work as a romantic, erotic, and mysterious journey that intertwines elements of mental illness, philosophical inquiry, and a message of hope that stands apart from conventional religious or philosophical treatises. 

 

Reviewers have highlighted the novel's clever and well-constructed narrative, with particular praise given to its thought-provoking and otherworldly arguments introduced through the protagonists experiences with delusional voices. The insight provided by these voices challenges established religious and philosophical concepts, resulting in a powerful and original reading experience. Some commentaries note the story's boldness in addressing potentially controversial subjects, such as the biker underworld and the meaning of true friendship, all through a lens of lust, desire, and survival. 

 

Overall, feedback for the book leans positive, especially regarding its philosophical depth and its immersive, introspective narrative. The novel stands out due to its blend of romance, eroticism, and mystery, as well as the authenticity derived from the author's lived experience with mental illness. 

Philosophizing With God's Help

 He hollers from the future conscious void where no one thinks or knows anything spiraling into nowhere.

His remains have disintegrated and his memory is destroyed. There is no hope, no answers, no purpose, no future, no good ahead, no bad ahead, just annihilation. The end of thought, experience, imagination, sense, wonder, speculation, hope, theory, the deadness, the abyss of unrecognition, a place that should exist completely now but with us here strangely something odd has occurred. 

That oddness is us questioning nothingness and annihilation and daring to hope ourselves beyond its final end but why? Why should we stare nonexistence in the eyes and aim to transcend realities most obvious terms that already have been defied. 

That defiance is busy struggling to reach beyond a temporal state that has us conscious of reality, self-aware, with knowledge of our inward and outward selves, aiming our brains, senses, imaginations, theories, at trying to surpass that end and see hope beyond a cold future oblivion.

 Why stare into such a formidable foe and know the equation of life and death, possibility and impossibility, hope and hopelessness; life, and whatever lies behind it, is teasing us, but why? is there an explanation? 

As far as I'm concerned life is too dynamic, too intricately connected with so many nuances, offering phenomena that are elaborate and interesting in diverse, rich, wonderful, discoverable, connection; every idea that is stumbled upon in the trail through history, every natural phenomena, creative living creature, non living object, the sky, the view of an ocean, the questions we ask and deliberate is if seen with the right level of appreciation an existing state that suggests life is not the result of meaningless random processes but points to an imagination beyond what we can fairly weigh for importance. This makes life a place of planning, of intention, where we exist not to face annihilation hopelessly but with possibility, even hope, and more a potential for untold unimaginable good.

To view Donald Carter's books and writing beyond this blog use Microsoft BING, Google, or Yahoo, and search for "Donald Carter's writing". 

The clear thoughts of God

 

It is my Lord who sees me up in the apple tree I've climbed. He sees me resting on a limb surrounded by red and green apples growing on the tree branches. It is Jesus, I realize, who's watching me from the loftiness of the clouds, and I look up to him. 

 

Blue jays and robins dart about in the orchard around me as a quiet breeze meets my skin. I can hear a gurgling creek nearby when I suddenly realize, I know something new. God is taking me on a journey today toward the setting sun, me and Jesus, who's presence I know. 

 

We begin walking in the clouds, high in the sky, somewhere above endless valleys, in the mysteries unknown of the unknown. I can peer down at creation moving toward the setting sunset and then my eyes are unexpectedly opened. 

 

"I am now going to open your heart to love" an unusual voice speaks. "You will be free to love without injury. This is a fairer way I'm showing you. The path I lead you on will eliminate your doubts and take away all your fear and uncertainty." 

 

I'm going somewhere new I realize as we begin moving through the sky. The place I'm going has never been seen before but somehow, I know I have always belonged there. I can see the rings of Saturn and then there appears a sight previously unimagined in all my speculative thought. 

 

"Where is this place?" I call out. "Where am I going? Why does my heart sing so happily? Why am I crying tears of joy? Jesus you're here with me! It's you Jesus, I know you! You spoke to me and counselled me so many times and now I see you! I see you, my Lord! I see you!" 

 

As I call out to my Lord joyfully lightening suddenly streaks across the sky. I feel joyful and at ease and then look and see suddenly a sky more brilliant then nature on earth at its finest. It occurs to me that God created everything while noticing unexpectedly unusual mountains rising tens of millions of miles high. There are immense valleys carved into their formations teeming with unusual life. I realize God is an architect I don't begin to understand. I don't understand his plans because his ways are larger then what my mind can conceptualize. I see only how he has made the oceans, the continents, the rivers, the birds, fish, and animals and now I glimpse a bit farther and see other created order numerous and varied but I still don't understand who God really is in size. 

 

My mind try’s now to grapple with the design of existence but I realize God only starts with what I see here. There is more to God then these designs and the ideas he allows human beings to conceive of and understand within our minds. There is more to external reality then the natural world and more to God and his plans for human beings then we realize. 

 

Then suddenly I find myself kneeling on the earth where I've forgotten strangely to breath. The earths soil is cold; my skin is pale. In a state of decay, I stand up and hear my skeletal bones rattle together. I then notice a lamp light ahead, through the fog, and I whisper unclear words to someone standing between the elms of the cemetery. An illumination suddenly appears in white garments in front of me allowing me to recognize I'm not alone and that I was never alone in this world at any time. 

 

It was after having this vision that I realized I wasn't going to be here in the world much longer. 

 

The clear thoughts of God as I imperfect Donald Carter received them 

 

First clear thoughts: Explained as received but not quoted directly. 

 

After lying down in my bed tonight next to a manger scene I have in my room God explained some of the mystery of death more clearly to me. For people, God explained through clear thoughts, death looks irreversible and final but for God our bodily decay is not the end we're led to believe it is. Listening carefully to God he explained that he doesn't just observe human beings in the present but sees all parts of our existence in the past, present, and future. He knows us at all these points of reality and because of this omniscience has awareness of our intricate selves at all times which he is able to see and could replicate at any instance if it was even necessary to do so. 

 

God's ways surpass our grasp of time transcending the reaches of what we understand. He can introduce our past self into a new future state located somewhere else other then here and this can happen in the future long after we die. We don't yet understand the record and footprints we leave behind us in nature as our voices reverberate with sound, and our bodily system moves through the world. Our brains are busy thinking thoughts and having conversations with other people using ideas and sending chemical signals through the brain God designed and nothing in these processes and who they make us is ever lost. We haven't yet reached the scientific advancement in understanding to recognize all the fingerprints left behind by the living creatures through our movements, thoughts, actions, and behavior in the world. All that we are now as a living person, especially as conscious life, is powerful beyond our recognition and meaningful far beyond our understanding of death and the uncertainty that lies beyond that unknown. 

 

This world is understood by God in intricate and complex ways. The journey we're on is one involving continues discovery of ideas waiting in nature that are deliberately preplanned and intended for us to happen upon to lead us to gradual maturity through life's preplanning by God as life’s architect. Death was always intended by God to be a stumbling block for us. The uncertainty of death inspires us to hope, to shoot at its buriers with poetry, creativity, that shapes our beliefs about reality; this wrestling match has deep and significant underpinnings that involve reasons related to the complex design and preplanning of the world. As human generations struggle for autonomy to question freely the mystery of life, we attempt to explore reality unoppressed by different kinds of authoritarianism. Previously planned concepts, originating many billions of years before the world existed, wait in nature to be recognized and explored. These discoveries, some technological, hide in reality to be invented and discovered along with other new ideas that continue to inspire debate about morality and values placed meticulously in the planning and order of existence to deliberately wait for us. We approach these mysteries realities while every living creatures worth, God will reveal clearly, is secure and valued in this life we're remarkably a part of. 

 

The clear thoughts of God written down as imperfect Donald Carter received them. 

 

1) Who has lived to see an end. Who has tamed uncertainty or tested possibility with any thorough reach; who has looked into the sky and seen far enough to be wise; who knows himself well or knows if life is one way or another; where do uncertainties secrets hide; who owns them; who hides behind the curtain; where in the reaches does possibility extend to; what are truly the loftiest fairest ways, are its unknowns discoverable, why wonder, why look, why be open to observe. 

 

2) What I observe in me, in every human being with an ego, is an opinion structured on the organization of ideas, about life, its meaning, it's terms. What I see is imperfect understanding into reality, some observations scientific, some philosophical, some theological, others spiritual, with minds grasping hold of ideas and then making lofty pronouncements like they know God well, or know for certain that God is nonexistent, or that they know what the unknown is about, that remains unapproached. 

 

3) The mystery is not just a vacuous empty expanse but an endless frontier and hiding in its reach are story's, world's, discoveries, ways we haven't seen, answers we don't have, clarity we aren't close to perceiving to understand the depth, mystery, possibility, evil, good. The unknown isn't made known to us as we scramble around in our environment because our answers are limited to what we now know, or come steeped in anchorless lore, or claim to know God's ways well prematurely, as we align to this group or that, old moralizing, or atheist gibberish. 

 

None of us knows the real mystery not the highest ecclesiastical clerics, not the elite of universities, none of us knows realities depth; none of us sees where the unknown points; if we could travel ten trillion times ten trillion  infinite times, where in the vacancy of the interstellar depth would we be; why presume new beginnings aren't there, minds exhibiting high reaching thoughts, descriptions of being, knowledge of all existence, or glimpses into the unending, on wonders so large no mind, no matter how large, has approached its quant harbors. Sail your vessel into peaceful harborages, stare back at death, wink at him, and catch the breeze in your sails, watch the gulls in the sky soar over the alien town, listen to the sounds of strange foreign drums; listen as wise voices speak, take note of what they say; they also live disillusioned while thinking they know, but how, by what evidence; what do they gather in their barns; what documents do they recite; has any of us really got to know God fully. 

 

4) On a plateau nearby this world perhaps watches an imperfect observer, and from that elevation he knows our imperfections more discernably then we do; but perhaps what everything in existence is really about is beyond his awareness too; as he watches the error and conflicts of men, as he observes man's cruelty and sees our absurd determination to say with supposed authority what reality is and isn't, they perhaps realize more wisely that none of us here has come close to the real foundations of ultimate truth and understanding. 

 

5) In the absence of understanding are estimates but not real truth so I'm weary of truth tellers. I have listened to them speak for too long. I now look upon reality through a different window. My hope does not find reassurance from the imperfect heart and understanding of man. He doesn't understand life's mystery, and I know how eager he/she is to divide humanity and find solidarity in a narrow sect while losing sight of universal possibilities of hope which to me now seem more reasonable and fairer then his ways. 

 

6) Maybe I'm weary here in this world because what surrounds me in others is not complete love. The environment professes love but the prescribed antidote, the terms people understand reality by, are terms that separate communities and find harmony in like-mindedness ways that are difficult to adapt too when you believe God and his love are more far reaching. When I observe ideas spoken by man to really be mixed with poison; when the beliefs demand of people in an uncertain home, somewhere we don't know where everything we’re part of is, that we know what existence is about, by this they mean for us to conform to myth and obey archaic words; such thinking asks us to believe ourselves right for any hope, a desperation we face to secure for ourselves a future in this environment; but love shouldn't behave so irrationally that man must believe what seems questionable; requiring us to adapt as true statements that come spoken in claims of what seems impossible in nature; to find safe passage we must accept, by this dogma, the downfall and destruction of most other people; because this is supposed to be the only hope for us in existence and where love is really found. 

 

7) In the absence of friendship, light, love, hope, meaning, is always the rumored obliterating state of total nonexistence where all consciousness gets extinguished and meaning and purpose become irrelevant. There peace might prevail in a final irony. One meets uncertainty with desperation to be met with the cold hand of indifference living amidst what might have revealed more otherness then we realize but that is impossible for us ever to know of it. 

 

8) The furniture is set out, a view awaits from the sitting cushions, the company is said to be good, as the hour of the gathering closes in. This will be a day I haven't seen I will see new people, ponder new thoughts, and peer farther then I've ever seen before. I will surpass my prior understanding, if all goes well, but what will I then know; what is it I'll see? Who knows anything far reaching here. Who has pulled the clouds and stars back and peered honestly into what we're part of, only those who harbor illusions of certainty, and paint canvasses describing life's beauty that say they understand life. 

 

9) As I walk into the unknown, I now doubt my human guide. He is like others; he has heard things; he has amassed ideas and interpreted beliefs from them; he has had his mind shaped by unsubstantiated claims; he has listened to claims and bought into them; but what is the proof of that which he thinks is true; who amongst us has evidence of these ultimate truth claims; I don't see truth; there is no transparency, no obvious answers; to assume such is naive; who understands well God; who understand the Lord fully what man or woman? 

 

10) Don't pretend the sky is empty and only you can comprehend existence. This isn't an anomalous and rare sequence of events. we aren't in the midst of meaninglessness. We're looking right in the eyes of open-endedness. I don't care what identity you ascribe to; what your foolish dogma asserts; you haven't gauged hardly anything. You profess understanding but what have you really learned. 

 

Why wouldn't real wisdom be fairer then we are. When has devious waring man ever been fair. Who amongst us has ever looked at all people in all places in all periods of time and asked kindly with empathy what is it cruel minded people expect you to know? Where is the great sign in the sky? What does that sign say so clearly about anything? Your signs are divisive and their suspicious to me. You say they are certain beyond question, but we know your ways and what anchors you to real understanding, which is absolutely nothing; you have no real grasp on certainty. 

 

Yes God is fair, but you can't trust a human person to speak with real fairness or understanding; you can only trust him/her so far; they will always revert to speaking what is inherently human; this rational defines good in a way that abandons a great multitude of humanity; defining love as a perilous discovery that requires adherence to fanciful ideas in a tradition who's ideas are imperfect; God perhaps is not understood by the human person when the claims of his love separate one person from any other member of the human family. 

 

11) When I meet God, I will experience fairness; I will understand imperfection more clearly. I think I will see human understanding for what I now suspect it is, which is thought littered with imperfection, an effort by us to weigh in and say, "this is what is true", "this is the way that matters", “this is where everything leads to and who gets there". I know what my heart now tells me, that such council, such ideas, devised by multitudes of people across time, that limit universal reach, that hide from humanity greater possibility, that these are only the thoughts of imperfect people harnessed into a force of persuasion and influence that arbitrarily abandons the future worth of multitudes of other imperfect people; this is not for certain a plan predestined by God. 

 

12) When I observe the unknown for what it really is, if I then come back here and claim to you, "Listen this is how things really are!" are you going to be fair with me? Are you going to bother to listen to what I say? You who thinks you know so much. You and your systematic interpretations, your chronology of texts, your entrenched beliefs about reality. I have heard a voice in the wilderness cry out in a loud holler; this voice has not succumb to the world's certainty; the reach of where this voices arguments point transcend me and you; the voice of clarity is a voice of hope, a sound that resonates with the weary, clarifies uncertainty for the confused, opens the imagination to the possible, that suggests love is real and reaches a scale of good no human ear has ever approached fully hearing; this possibility of hope lies beyond the dullness of doubt, it hides in the unknown and waits for all the weary.