I’ve decided to share in this post some very personal, private, embarrassing information, after enduring a considerable amount of humiliation that I feel I must speak out against in my own defense.
I visit a porn website usually around four times a month. The original porn website I visited was RedTube where I used to find beautiful attractive women who were clearly older than twenty-one. Those videos for some mysteries reason gradually became less easy to find as videos of ladies of a younger age began to appear. Believing myself able to avoid the questionable videos, and not knowing a better porn website to visit, I continued to visit RedTube as my choices in adult actresses continued to slowly become less available.
As time went on I found myself clicking on videos that seemed to have adult actresses based on the picture to find girls of a questionable age engaged in sex. After discovering the videos were of a questionable age on my desktop, but mysteriously not on my I-Pad, I decided I needed to find a new porn website.
I moved from Red Tube to Porn Hub after being assured in an online search that Porn Hub was a reputable website dealing in mature content.
My first few experiences using Porn Hub were good. I found couples who clearly were old enough to view. Yet then again suddenly the choices I came across began to present more girls of a questionable age. These pictures were easy to avoid until once again I would click on adult pictures to discover questionable under age videos.
It became obvious to me that people were either experimenting on me or worse that I was having my character fraudulently misrepresented. The choices leading me to view questionable porn were not mine to make but are instead the result of police, psychologists, or someone worse manipulating the direction of my viewing. Could they be using these fraudulent results to fool a third person audience into thinking what my real choices were?
To add to my personal humiliation I’m now going to admit something else because I believe I have to. I don’t think I’m gay, I’ve always been attracted to women, but out of curiosity I did several online searches for gay videos on Porn Hub. I viewed the material feeling curious about my interest in what I’d see. I wasn’t turned off, and my beliefs are there is nothing wrong with being gay, but I realized I’m straight and will not be experimenting with the same sex.
What was deeply disturbing about my experiences viewing gay porn was once again, like with the straight porn, I’d click on a picture with adults to find videos with teenagers. It seemed like once again someone was trying to distort and mislead others into thinking what my viewing choices are.
The reason I believe I have to speak out about these experiences goes further than the reasons given. The private reasons I had for viewing gay porn were deeply personal. I don’t believe anyone should know about my private life unless I choose to tell them like I’m doing now embarrassingly. So when the RCMP began approaching me in chat rooms with undercover officers posing as gay chatters I was troubled and humiliated. The reason I think they’re interested in my sex life is because of an unfounded theory they have that me viewing gay porn is a clue to my involvement in a murder. They must somehow know the websites I visit which I think is private information.
The organized chatters I spoke with tried different tactics to get me to open up about my sexuality. Without saying who he was one chatter suddenly asked me if the reason I didn’t have sex was because I’m afraid to have sex. He knew I wasn’t sexually active somehow. I haven’t dated because of severe anxiety.
Other organized chatters began producing images of naked men in their posts. What needs to be understood is Libra chat doesn’t allow this kind of behavior. There were numerous other fishing operations like this, with continuous questions about my sex life, and great interest in who I was attracted to. What I realized from these intrusive humiliating questions into my private life is the answers would only be important to an organized group of some kind. I began to suspect once again that this was a fishing operation by the RCMP, psychologists, and psychiatrists. I believe they are targeting me because of a book I wrote about unsolved murder called: “The Devils of Truro”, that is available on Amazon, Apple, and Audible country websites if you do a search for the name Donald Carter.
The RCMP and mental health's investigations didn’t stop there. Two weeks ago I went in search of a friendlier chat program. I began doing Google searches in the hope of finding an online friendship with a female friend and finding interesting people to talk to. Every search result I pursued led to strange chat rooms with nude images, offers of sex talk for a fee, and depraved men exposing themselves. When I found the chat Zobe advertised as a friendly place to chat for all people without any need of registration I thought I finally found a friendly place to chat. But unfortunately once again there were the tormentors.
The way the Zobe chat system is laid out is there was a list of rooms like #Lobby, #Canada, #Nova Scotia, #Older single people, # I’m over 18 I’m old enough, #gay and bi men, #Christian etc.
I visited all the chat rooms that were relevant to me like #anxiety and depression, #older singles, #Canada, #Nova Scotia.
Beside the chat window is a who’s on list. If you look down that list you see the pictures and names of chatters. What I realized immediately was there were only one or two adult women pictures in each adult room and numerous photos of under age girls. What was even more suspicious about these pictures is that they looked staged and not like pictures real chatters would post.
I still held out hope I could meet adults and engage in interesting conversations. I tried # Older singles and said hello to the women with adult photos. These women were chatting openly in the room and reacted to my friendly greeting, each time I tried, with deliberate rudeness and meanness. Over two weeks I recorded eighteen unprovoked and mean reactions to my presence in the chat.
I began to realize there was something odd about the chat room. The underage girl chatters would occasionally send me a private message. They were trying to initiate a conversation while the older women continued to respond miserably to my presence. When I went to the Canada room I found a lot of gay and lesbians trying to hook up.
The odd part of seeing gay people there was how I was unfairly treated by them after being friendly and supportive toward the gay community. As I struggled to find niceness three young good looking male chatters appeared on different nights and tried to initiate romantic talk with me a fifty-two year old average looking man.
As I studied the chat rooms a little closer I realized a lot of the conversations appearing on the screen weren’t live but clearly seemed like a script prepared in advance. This I realized meant that an organized power behind the chat was operating each chat room for another reason other then providing people with friendly chat.
Deeply suspicious now I began to doubt that the unfriendly gay chatters I encountered were real members of the gay community who I continue to respect. Instead it dawned on me I suspected that police and psychiatrists were responsible for the chat room. It was this organized group who were trying to get me numerous times to chat with under age girls and young gay chatters.
I suspect now that like in the Libra chat room this use of young gay men chat profiles is a mean RCMP and psychiatrist fishing operation in reaction to my book “The Devils of Truro”.
In the minds of psychiatrists, the RCMP, and maybe the entire Canadian public, no person living with schizophrenia can be a good enough person to write innocently about unsolved murder. We, the people living with schizophrenia, are incapable of being good people or of writing a book that is empathetic to murder victims in the public’s minds. Instead of people living with schizophrenia being good people we must all be evil people in their eyes. We have no moral compass, no sense of right and wrong, no ability to be fair, instead, to them, we’re degenerates.
The secretive police, and psychiatrist operations, carried out in the darkness of night, speaks of the widespread belief people have that people with schizophrenia are evil human beings.
I need to go back in time now a few years to when the original clues of this RCMP, psychiatrist, family doctor, and nurse fishing operations began. These attacks on my character originated several years earlier in a Libra chat room. In this chat system a team of unknown chatters began to cruelly interrogate me nightly with a good cop bad cop methodology. Two chat names in the room were skilled at infuriating me. They knew how to hit below the belt and systematically disturb me emotionally. Their meanness continued for a year or longer. Greatly disturbed by their constant harassment I would defensively say what I thought would help to stop the abuse. Once when deeply troubled by the verbal attacks I uttered an unintentional threat and from that point on these people really made my life a living hell.
I began to suspect the people I chatted with were police investigators because of their probing into my threat. As they continued to get under my skin I told them they were raising my blood pressure so high I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I continued to appeal to their humanity as they tormented me psychologically.
This psychological profiling I believe was also done on Facebook by psychologists and police through the Facebook news feed. Many of the posts were odd like Facebook friends sending posts talking of unsolved murders in such a way it seemed odd to like the post but suspicious not to. These kinds of psychological experiments appeared all the time. On my screen daily would also appear pictures of under age girls. What was really disturbing is I’m a fan of Jennifer Aniston and Shakira and I would like their posts. Several posts later pictures would appear of Jennifer Anniston or Shakira in a bathing suit as young child. These kind of psychological experiments were constant across years. The behavior wasn’t proving anything to them, it couldn’t have been, it was simply causing me a feeling of hopelessness to the point I wanted to take my own life.
As the behavior by police and psychologists continued both in the chat room and on Facebook I was having regular on the phone sessions with my psychiatrist. She obviously doesn’t like me and she would spend each session interrogating me. She seemed to be trying to prove I was inconsistent because perhaps she believes I’m dishonest and evil. This rudeness lasted for a long time with the exception of some calls where she couldn’t have seemed nicer.
On one phone call she asked me to bring up with my family doctor a letter she sent to him which she received no response to. I brought it up with him a few days later when I visited him about my high blood pressure. Whatever was in that letter lead to a change in my family doctor. He and a nurse assistant began hooking me up to a blood pressure machine which took half a dozen readings over a period of an hour. At the end of the reading the nurse, who set me up to the machine, returned with the results, and then the doctor appeared.
I was called back to the office eight or nine times over several months. Each time the doctor and nurse received the blood pressure results they treated me with suspicion. They asked me what I was eating, what I was drinking, and seemed annoyed. This annoyance only increased with subsequent doctor visits. The doctor and nurse began making rude comments like by suggesting several times I must be doing something to alter the results. After hearing such comments on one visit I walked out through the back section of the offices into the lobby where no fewer then fifteen off duty RCMP officers stood waiting. I still don’t know why they were standing in the reception area glaring at me.
On a subsequent visit the doctor said to me, with the nurse looking on, “there are some people, not me, who question whether your doing something to effect these blood pressure readings” he then looked over at the nurse.
I responded naively “you think I’m doing something to deliberately effect my blood pressure?” and he said sarcastically “oh no I believe you.” and he and the nurse looked at each other.
On the last visit the nurse was really rude and made me feel like my high blood pressure was my fault. I’m on a lot of blood pressure pills now with no solution in sight.
With my mental illness I’m a little slow to catch on to many things. It finally dawned on me , several months after these experiences, that there was a reason I was treated this way by my family doctor, his nurse, and my psychiatrist. My complaints in the Libra chat room to get the abuse to stop, while worried about my high blood pressure and a heart attack, I realized, had reached my psychiatrist, family doctor, and nurses ears. The police, it dawned on me suddenly, must have needed medical permission to continue their investigative attacks.
My psychiatrist must see herself as a Nancy Drew detective doing her part to catch a murderer. My family doctor wasn’t trying to treat my high blood pressure to help me but to try and assist the police in catching a “murderer”.
The only problem is, from my perspective, is I didn’t murder anyone. The only crime I’m guilty of is using free speech to write a book about unsolved crime and that’s not a crime at all.
If there are any lawyers out there who can help me stop the abuse please email me at dlanod@eastlink.ca but if you don’t hear a response please don’t give up trying to reach me. I suspect now several emails I sent from one computer to the other were intercepted by the police. I would also like to make a formal complaint to the Canada Human Rights Commission. No person with mental illness, especially an innocent person, deserves to be treated like this. I’m going to make several more complaints to the Human Rights Commission in the coming days.
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